Haunted(7)

I missed Roman. I had been with Roman for six weeks straight for twenty-four hours a day. That was like six months of dating. I felt as though a part of me was missing, but I had pushed it to the back of my mind during the last few days.

Today, he was right in the forefront. I was so glad to be alone. Because all I wanted to do was cry. Cry because of the rapes. Cry for being away from Joey. I even cried a bit for my lost marriage, but I mainly cried that Roman was gone.

What the f*ck was I thinking when I broke off our relationship? I knew what. Deep down, I knew I was a commodity to him. Of course he thought he was in love with me. He never had to spend as much time with a woman as long as he’d stayed with me. He didn’t really have a choice; under normal circumstances, he would have never spent any time with me. After a week or two, he would have been bored with me. Roman would have left me crippled with pain, kind of like I was now.

So I cried. I even put on my “Cry” playlist. I had many, many sad songs to listen to while I bawled like a newborn baby. I was even listening to a song titled “Cry.” Who says I wasn’t consistent? I wondered if anybody else had a playlist like that? I even had a “Joe” playlist—all the songs that reminded me of the death of my brother. I was one seriously f*cked-up individual.

So, I laid there and cried all day. I woke up…cried…slept. The idea that bothered me the most: I bet Roman wasn’t at home crying because he was probably partying it up with groupies and getting ready to start a concert. Who was the dumbass bitch who told him to go back and screw groupies?

Huh, you are, that’s who!

I screamed.

I cried.

And then I slept.



Chapter 5 – Roman



“Mate, are you crying again?” Jensen asked me.

I should have taken his guitar and beaten him to death with it.

“Fuck you!”

I took another swig of Jack Daniels. I was sitting on the floor. Funny how my back didn’t hurt anymore. I thought it was mostly in my head. Subconsciously, I had wanted the drugs. Maybe I should start taking them again. At least I could have the illusion of being happy. Beth wouldn’t be here to yell at me.

“Did you see this rag?” Jensen dropped a magazine in my lap.

There was a picture of Beth and me on the cover. The title read: Rock Star and Fan Kidnapped in Nashville.

“Huh…” I stared. It was the picture they’d taken of us right before we were kidnapped. Beth looked so happy. The moment the picture was taken I had never even noticed her. Even though I had my arm around her as though we were a couple. Tears fell down my face. I wiped them off before Jenson could make a smart ass remark. She looked so pretty and I’d never even noticed her. I didn’t deserve her.

“Jensen, what the f*ck? Why are you showing him this shit before the show?” Berg yelled at Jensen from across the room.

“I don’t know what his bloody problem is. He is just being a pain in the arse. It’s not like he can’t get shagged by hotter women.”

“Jensen…” Berg was warning him, already walking toward him. Berg knew me like a brother. He knew I was not emotionally stable at the moment.

“I mean…she’s not all that if you ask me,” Jensen spoke.

“You dumb f*ck…” Berg spit out before I jumped up and slammed Jensen against the wall.

“You piece of shit! Just because she isn’t made out of plastic just like all the groupies you f*ck, doesn’t mean she isn’t pretty!” I banged him against the wall one more time for good measure.

Jensen swung at me, but I pushed him back. He tried to swing at me again, but Berg blocked his punch.

“Oh, no you don’t, Jensen. You don’t hit Roman! I will f*ck you up,” Berg warned him.

Jensen held up his hands in surrender. I didn’t care; he couldn’t talk about Beth that way, so I punched him in the eye.

“I love her and if you ever make fun of her again, I will beat the ever-living f*ck out of you. Do you understand?”

“Oi, mate. Didn’t mean to get your knickers in a pinch.” Jensen left the room, shaking his head like a douche.

“I swear I will kick his ass back to England.” I grabbed my hair in frustration.

“Roman, if it makes you feel any better, I’d bang her.” Berg gave me shit-eating grin. He meant it. I could tell.

“Yeah…don’t know if that makes me feel any better, bud.”

***

Okay…you can do this! It was midnight after our sixth concert. I picked up my phone and dialed the number. Why was my heart beating so fast? Why was I so nervous? I was Roman “f*cking” Reed. Lead singer of Phantom. Don’t be a puss…

“Hello.”

“Hello, Eve, it’s…it’s Roman. Roman Reed.”

She laughed at me. Some rock god I was. “I know who you are, rock star. I mean, you are the only Roman I really know.”

“Sorry to call so late. But I have to know. How is she?”

“Uh, give me a second.”

I heard rustling around and a bed squeak. “Did I wake you up?”

“No, but my boyfriend is asleep, and I was reading in the bed. I needed to come downstairs to talk so we wouldn’t wake him.”

“Sorry, Beth told me you didn’t have a boyfriend. Didn’t think I would be waking anyone because Beth says you stay up till two every night reading.”