The Not-Outcast(2)

I know I wasn’t the only girl in school who thought so either.

Cut and Chad were both popular. They’re hockey players, so of course they were popular. But Chad was grumpy a lot of the time. Or at least, he was grumpy to me. You know, when he actually talked to me. But not Cut. He was always grinning or joking around his popular friends, and everyone loved Cut.

How could you not?

He was going into the NHL. Everyone knew it. I heard Chad talking about it to our dad one night at the house. It was one of the few times he was there. At first, I thought that Chad not living here with us was weird, but then I heard Natalie mention to one of her friends that they thought it was best if he stayed at Cut’s house while Donna’s kid was staying with them.

That’s how she said it; those were her words exactly.

I mean, I knew she was talking about me, but it made sense. Everything made sense after that.

I was Donna’s kid.

I was also Deek’s kid. So that meant I was Chad’s stepsister.

So even though Natalie didn’t like calling me her stepdaughter, that’s what I was.

But yeah, everyone’s been great to me this whole time I was at their house.

The food was great every night.

I could drink water any time of the day, and get this—it was endless, coming out of their fridge. I just had to grab a glass and push it against the button, and voila: instant water. It was good water, too, so I didn’t need to stay at school that long after classes ended.

I never got locked out.

I never had to find a warm place on the streets.

I did look up the local shelter, just in case. One never knew.

But back to the family, because I found out that I had another little brother. Can you believe that?

I had no clue where he’d been this whole time. Maybe like Chad, he’d been sent somewhere else while they needed to take care of me? Oh man. I hoped I hadn’t put them out, or him out, or used his room? That’d be awful if they brought me in and sent him away because I took his room, but that didn’t make sense.

Their house was epically big.

I mean, Chad could’ve stayed there, and I probably wouldn’t have even seen him.

Though, thinking on it now, Natalie was also gone a lot. There were a ton of nights when it was me at the house and Deek was working in his office. I mean, yeah, I spent time with my dad. That was super, über cool, you know? We had meals together, or some meals.

We had meals in the beginning together.

After a while, not so much.

He kinda stopped talking to me toward the end.

Except snapping.

He liked to snap a lot.

But in the beginning he talked to me about my mom, and when he did, he’d get all tense in the face. His words would come out clipped, but I got it. I really and truly did.

Donna was…well, let’s just say Donna was a lot.

I’m her daughter, and she only talked civilly to me after she’d been away at one of those clinics. She stayed there a long time. This time was the longest, and my dad thought it’d be best if I spent it with them, but usually I stayed at my uncle’s house, but this time was cool. It was like seeing how the other half lives.

The high school was nicer, too. There weren’t gangs at Pine Valley.

Can you imagine? How Chad would be at my normal school? With the gangs there?

I started laughing, just thinking about it, and then I thought about Cut. It wasn’t funny anymore.

Cut would’ve still been popular and pretty, but he probably wouldn’t have laughed as much.

That was sad to think about because I liked his laugh. I listened for it in the hallways.

“Cheyenne.”

Crap. They’re talking to me.

“Cheyenne.” My counselor leaned over, putting her hand on my arm. “This is important. You need to focus on being present with us.”

They’re always preaching that. Being present.

What did that even mean?

So what if my mind wandered? So what if I’m hyper and sometimes so hyper I missed what’s going on around me? They would be, too, if they grew up where I did, the way I did.

Being present sucked, especially now. I mean, more so now than ever.

Could we go back to talking about Cut?

“Cheyenne.”

That was my dad talking.

“What?” I looked at him. He was frowning at me, sitting in the corner with his arms crossed over his chest. He dressed up for this meeting—a business suit. Natalie’s here, too, heaving a sigh, like she usually did when she’s around me. I’ve noticed she didn’t do that when Chad was around. I couldn’t say how she was around my other brother because I obviously didn’t know him.

I didn’t think they even knew that I knew about him.

Let’s talk about that.

Why haven’t they told me?

It’s not like I’m this horrible person.

I didn’t do anything. I mean, the worst I did was think, think and talk to myself, not be present—which I could see my dad knew I was doing again.

He got the same look on his face every time he’s exasperated with me.

His mouth flattens. His nose wrinkles a little, and it looks like he’s constipated or something.

Now he’s uncrossing his arms, rubbing a hand over his forehead.

He does that a lot when I really frustrate him.