How Not to Drown in a Glass of Water (5)
Ability to understand verbal instructions
Ability to be self-motivated, responsible, and dependable without close supervision
Ability to work smoothly with others and to complete a task
Ability to remain calm in an emergency
Ability to communicate effectively
JOB APPLICATION, CONT.
THE JOB YOU WANT & CO. is an equal opportunity employer. This application will not be used for limiting or excluding any applicant for employment on a basis prohibited by local, state, and federal law.
Education and Training
High School: The yellow house on the hill near the colmado.
Location: Calle Sin Nombre.
Year Graduated: I learned my numbers and letters. My teachers said I was the most intelligent.
Degree Earned: Survival.
College / University
Name: One that doesn’t cost anything.
Location: I heard the school in the Bronx is good.
Year: Maybe one day, who knows?
Degree Earned: Lulú calls me La Doctora because I can smell the sickness.
Vocational School / Specialized Training
Name: Pastry school? I can cook, but the oven and I fight.
Location: Close to the apartment.
Year Graduated: Si Dios quiere.
Degree Earned: The best tasting Dominican cake in Washington Heights. It’s not pretty, but eating it, you die dreaming.
Previous Employment Employer Name: The factory of little lamps.
Job Title: Whatever job needs to be done.
Supervisor Name: The good one or the bad one?
Employer Address: You cross the George Washington Bridge.
Dates Employed: 1980–2006
Reason for Leaving: The factory left to Costa Rica.
Position(s) Applying for: All the positions available.
How did you hear about this position?
Neighbors, families, friends, La Escuelita.
What days are you available for work?
Every day.
What hours or shifts are you available for work?
All the hours. All the shifts. Except between 8 to 10 at night, because I see the telenovelas. And not before 7 in the morning because I need the sleep. After 10 at night, I am not so good. On Sundays, I like to clean and do laundry and visit ángela and Hernán and the children. I have to come home by 5 to make the dinner. But yes, I am available all the hours.
If needed, are you available to work overtime?
You don’t have to ask.
On what date can you start working if you are hired?
Yesterday.
Salary desired:
Suficiente to live. They paid me $11 per hour. I started with $3.35 in the factory. But without overtime it was not enough.
Personal reference and relationship:
Lucía (Lulú) Sánchez Pe?a. She’s my neighbor. Mi comadre. Like family. I would put my sister ángela, but I can’t predict what she’ll say about me.
How many years have you known your personal reference?
A life.
Are you 18 years of age or older:
Unfortunately, yes. But I look like a teenager. Ha!
Are you a U.S. citizen or approved to work in the United States?
What do you think?
What document can you provide as proof of citizenship or legal status:
I have the papers.
Will you consent to a mandatory controlled substance test?
What kind of person do you think I am? Do I look like a tecata to you?
Do you have any condition which would require job accommodations?
I have veins like rocks, up and down my legs. A job that doesn’t destroy me would be nice.
Have you ever committed a criminal offense?
Well … it depends.
(Note: No applicants will be denied employment solely on the grounds of conviction of a criminal offense.)
SESSION TWO
You are so serious today. Yes, I know we have a lot of work to do, but first I will get myself some water if that is no problem for you. Yes? OK.
What’s this paper? More questions?
What are your strengths?
Ha! Is this not clear to you already?
What are your weaknesses?
Pfft! This question is a trick? OK, OK. I will play the game with you.
What is my strength? Hmm … first let me put on lipstick. It helps me to think.
But in serious, strength? When you ask, my mind paralyzes.
Maybe sometimes I’m too strong. But a mother needs to be strong.
Like one time, when my son, Fernando, had thirteen years, he wanted to go outside to be with some tígueres from the street. ángela was living with us. Recently arrived. It was nice to have her with us but she always gave me ojo when she saw me with the chancleta in my hand.
Fernando tried to leave the apartment, even after I said no. He was a head-size taller than me. He tried to get to the door, and when he saw I was standing in the middle, his nose flared out to here, and his eyebrows came together like this. So I pushed him away from the door. He fell back and hit his head on the wall.
There was no blood. He was OK—it was an accident. I just didn’t want him to go outside. Those delinquents give the children money to deliver packages. It’s my responsibility to keep him safe! Look at that boy Jorge in my building who was suspended from the university for selling the drugs. He was in one of the best schools in the country, maybe even the world.