Gaining Miles (Miles Family #5)(3)

Cooper wandered over to me, and as if he’d known me his whole life, crawled right up into my lap. He patted my beard with his little hand and smiled. “Hi, Ben.”

In that moment, Cooper Miles broke me.

The hard shell I’d constructed around my heart cracked wide open. It was as if a rush of fresh air surged through me, cleaning out the cold, empty spaces I’d closed off. For years, I’d kept that armor around my heart, sure it was the only way I’d survive. Stay alone. Don’t let anyone inside.

That little boy made me crumble with just a pat to my chin.

I swallowed hard, overcome with a sudden rush of emotion. Cooper rubbed his palm against my facial hair, giggling, like it tickled. His laugh was so light, his smile so pure.

I’d met their father, Lawrence. He’d hired me. It was hard to believe this joyful little spark had come from that man. From what I knew of Lawrence Miles, he was serious and demanding. I’d worked for worse, but the idea of this bright little boy being raised by a man like him made my chest ache.

For reasons I didn’t understand, I desperately wanted Cooper to keep whatever it was that burned so brightly inside him.

Roland glanced at me again and his little shoulders relaxed. He sat down next to Leo and grabbed a car. It was as if he’d let his guard down and could finally play. Was it because I had his brother? It was hard to be sure.

Leo crashed his car into Roland’s and the two erupted with laughter. Cooper kicked his legs and laughed along with his brothers.

Shannon came around the side of the house carrying a tray with a plate of cookies, a pitcher of lemonade, and a stack of plastic cups. “Okay, here we are.”

“Cookies!” Cooper exclaimed.

She set the tray on the edge of another garden bed. Roland and Leo sprang up and stood in front of her.

“Your hands are filthy, but… oh well.” She handed them each a cookie and a cup of lemonade, then looked over at Cooper, still sitting in my lap. “Wow. He must like you. He doesn’t do that very often.”

“Doesn’t do what?”

“Sit. He’s either moving or sleeping. There’s not much in between.” She grabbed two cookies and brought them over, handing one to Cooper, the other to me. “Thank you again. I know a cookie isn’t really enough thanks, but it’s the best I can do on short notice.”

I adjusted Cooper in my lap. The weight of his little body was comforting, somehow. As were the satisfied smiles of the other boys. “No need for anything else. This is perfect.”

By the time I finished my cookie, Cooper’s brief adventure in sitting still was over. He scrambled down from my lap, darted for the tray, snatched another cookie, and tried to run.

But I was faster than he was. I caught him around the waist and spun him around while he squealed with delight.

“Nice try, little man.”

“Oh, Cooper,” Shannon said. The poor woman sounded so tired. “Okay, buddy. Containment strategy number two. Time to go inside.”

I helped her bring the snack into the house. It felt awkward to be in her home, so I quickly made for the door. Stopping in the doorway, I nodded to her.

“Thanks again for the snack. I’ll see you around.”

“Thank you so much, Benjamin,” she said amid the chaos erupting at her feet. Cooper clung to one leg and Leo tugged on her shirt, trying to ask her a question. “Leo, wait one minute, please. Cooper, can you let go of my leg, honey? Mommy needs to walk.”

I shut the door with a soft click and made my way down the porch steps.

Shannon Miles didn’t know it, but her little boys had done something to me. Reminded me that a heart still beat in my chest. That maybe my life hadn’t ended.

I let out a long breath as I walked to my truck. The sun was sinking toward the mountain peaks that surrounded Salishan Cellars, the air already cooling. And something told me that wasn’t the last time I’d chase down a naked Cooper Miles in the vineyard.





Two





Ben





Present day



Sparks danced into the night sky, carried up by currents of air I couldn’t feel. The fire blazed hot, licking the edges of my mattress, the coals at the bottom glowing bright red. I’d stacked wood around the base to keep it going even once the mattress itself burned out. Made for a nice big bonfire.

I sat back in my chair, one foot crossed over my knee, bottle of beer in my hand. I had a feeling my solitude wouldn’t last. One of the boys was bound to catch a whiff of the fire, or see the sparks rise, their orange and red lights winking in the darkness. I’d brought a six-pack, expecting company.

Then again, any or all of them might be otherwise occupied tonight. It wasn’t like there was a horde of bachelors roaming Salishan’s acres these days. One by one, all my kids had found love and settled down.

Of course, technically they weren’t my kids. I hadn’t fathered them. And I’d never spoken of them that way out loud. But I’d stopped beating myself up for thinking of them as mine years ago. I wasn’t their father, but they were mine just the same. I’d been a part of their lives—watching out for them—since they were little. Since that day, so many years ago, when I’d chased a naked two-year-old Cooper through the vineyard and brought him back to his mother.