The Lesbiana's Guide to Catholic School(11)



So . . . bashing the Catholic faith on my first day may have taken it a little too far.

“I—I’m just saying.” I mumble it like an apology and go back to my desk. Karen, Jenna, and Emily all stare at me like I shot someone.

“Mr. Baker, you’re up.” Mrs. Havens says, walking toward my desk. When some kid steps up to the front of the class, she nonchalantly places two pieces of paper on my desk, then walks back to hers.

A lunch detention slip, and my grade. Zero.

There’s a fifteen-minute break between second and third hours—religion and chemistry—which isn’t something we had at Rover. You can buy cookies and soda if you want. I so badly wish I had the cash—I could really use a pick-me-up right now, considering the way my morning has gone.

I wander the courtyard, trying not to sulk about detention, and almost eat the pavement when Cesar jumps on my back without warning. I think it’s supposed to be a hug. I turn around and push him off me, but I don’t even care he made me trip. It’s nice to see a familiar face. That is, until he starts giving me puppy eyes.

“Yami, my beautiful, flawless, beloved sister. Your eyebrows look spectacular today. Your hair is lovely. Have I mentioned that you—”

“What do you want?”

“Buy me a cookie?” His grin is exaggerated so all his teeth show.

“Do I look like I have cookie money?” I’m fully aware I sound like Mom.

“Hmm . . . good point.” He rubs his chin and scans the courtyard. “Yo, Hunter!” he calls out.

Some guy—Hunter, I’m guessing—approaches us. He looks like he actually conditions his wavy brown hair, and he has what Bianca would have called “smoochy white boy lips.” Which basically just means he’s a white boy with an upper lip.

“What is up, Flores?” he says, and gives my brother dap with unnatural enthusiasm.

“You got a dollar for a cookie?” Cesar asks. I try not to roll my eyes. He couldn’t have known this guy for more than an hour and he’s already asking for money. He is so shameless. Though I have to admit I’m a little jealous of how quickly he’s already gotten comfortable here. I’m happy for it, though. Pretty sure he only had one real friend back at Rover. Some guy named Jamal, but they didn’t hang out together at school too often.

“Yeah, I got you, bro! I only have a card, though. I’ll just buy you one.” He smiles at me. “You want one too?”

I want to be offended, because why would I want some rando to buy me a cookie? What makes him think I can’t afford one myself? But then I see Bo getting in the cookie line.

“Sure.” On second thought, I do want a stranger to buy me a cookie.

“This is my sister, Yami, but you can call her Yamilet,” Cesar says, and I laugh. I kind of ruined it today, but Yami is supposed to be an earned nickname.

“Hi, Yamilet, I’m Hunter.” Hunter makes an effort to say my name right, and he’s a little flushed for some reason. He leads us to the line.

I told myself I would be super straight at this school, but I can’t help it. Bo has a cute butt. I look away and ask myself my new motto, WWSGD? What Would a Straight Girl Do? I can acknowledge a cute butt straightily, right? Maybe I’m looking out of jealousy, and not attraction—maybe I just want to know her workout regimen. I want to be friends. I should talk to her. She’s right in front of us. I should just . . .

“Bo, right?” I say. I don’t know what it is, but I’m feeling bold today. Bo turns around and smiles when she sees me. Up close, her lips are way smoochier than Hunter’s.

“Yeah, hey! I like you.” She likes me. “Sorry, I don’t know your first name, though, Ms. Flores.” She says “Ms. Flores” in what I assume is an exaggeration of Mrs. Havens’s voice, but it sounds flirty and it makes my cheeks get hot.

“Yamilet.” I smooth out my skirt so she doesn’t notice my blush. When I look back up, her friendly dark brown eyes meet mine. She tucks a strand of her messy black shoulder-length hair behind her ear.

“Bo,” she says, cheeks pink and round. “Oh, I mean—you already knew that.”

I laugh. “I liked your presentation. It was super ballsy. I thought you were gonna get paddled or something.”

“I’m ballsy? You practically had Mrs. Havens in the fetal position! And as much as they wish they could paddle us, they can’t do that anymore.” She grins. “Best way to piss them off is by protesting their shitty views while still getting an A. It’s my only talent.”

I snort-giggle and my hand shoots over my mouth. Cesar laughs at me.

I introduce Cesar and Hunter to Bo to get her mind off the fact that I just honest-to-God snorted.

“Yeah, I know Bo.” Hunter chuckles.

Of course I managed to make it more awkward. Obviously everyone at this tiny school already knows each other. I bet they are so sick of being stuck with the same people every day. Maybe that’s why Cesar and I seem to be getting so much attention. No one here probably ever gets an opportunity to meet a new kid.

We barely have time to get our cookies before the bell rings for the next class. One nice thing about being in such a small school is that all the classes are pretty close together, so I don’t have to rush between them. Another perk is that most of my classes have at least one familiar face, even though I’ve only met a grand total of four juniors, plus Hunter, who’s a senior. Of course my genius brother would have classes with seniors. I can easily gravitate toward people I’ve already met, instead of having to make new friends in every single class. My favorite so far is art, right before lunch. Bo and Hunter are both in that one with me, and the teacher seems super chill. She pretty much gives us free rein to do whatever we want for an hour, as long as we produce some kind of “art.”

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