Unbreakable(10)

Emmy and Sully have been the two constants in my life besides hockey since that horrible, life-changing day. Losing them is something I can never let happen.

So no matter how badly I want Emmy, I just can’t have her.





Chapter Four





EMMY




I awaken violently and spring from the bed. I’m overwhelmed with panic and completely disoriented. Bending at the knees, I wrap my arms around my middle and draw large gulps of air into my lungs until I realize where I am. I’m at the cottage, in Will’s room.

Well, that certainly doesn’t make me any less anxious.

This kind of panic upon waking has been happening off and on for months, and I’m so over it. I’m in a near-constant state of worry lately—over college, my future, and my parent’s divorce.

Thankfully, Will’s still sound asleep after my panic attack. He has one hand resting on his flat, muscled stomach and the other behind his head. His dark blond hair hangs down over his right eye, and his full lips are slightly parted. The temptation to lean in and brush the hair off of his forehead and wake him with a sweet kiss is almost too much.

Having these kinds of feelings is still a little weird to me. After all, it’s Will. The same Will who used to chase me around our backyard with his laser gun when we were little, and who teased me endlessly when I tried out for cheerleading and couldn’t remember the words to the cheers.

Still, I can’t deny my feelings. Every single time I look at him, my body goes nuts: sweaty palms, fluttery stomach, and a racing heart.

When he’d turned me down last night, everything began to ache—my head, my stomach, and my throat.

But most of all, my heart.

Giving him one final glance, I turn and walk across the hall to use the bathroom before trudging downstairs to the kitchen. The only thing I should focus on right now is making myself a few cups of coffee. I need the soothing, familiar aroma and taste of freshly roasted java to make it through the rest of this day.

Sure, alcohol would be more effective, but it’s way too early for that. And other than the occasional beer, I’m not much of a drinker. Past experience proves that I can’t hold my liquor at all. It’s usually an unfortunate situation for me and anyone within puking distance.

I take a seat at the kitchen island while I wait for the coffee to brew. After trying to read the same Cosmopolitan article four times, I give up. Thoughts of last night completely distract me.

I wish I’d been smart enough to let it go after propositioning him the first time, but I wasn’t. No, I had to try to convince him to sleep with me.

When we were lying in bed together, and he reached over and stroked my face?

Oh. My. God.

I’d been scorched by that hot blue gaze; my panties had gotten wet with just a look. I’ve never been that turned on by a guy before.

Then he’d shot me down cold. Again.

I bury my head in my hands and take a breath while my stomach churns at the memory. How in the hell am I going to face him today?

After two cups of coffee, I go back upstairs to shower and get ready for the day, still turning over last night’s humiliation in my mind. If this were any other guy, it wouldn’t cut me so deep.

Logically, I completely understand Will’s reasons for not acting on his attraction. But the logic doesn’t make it hurt any less.

I head back downstairs after packing a bag to take to the lake. I make a third cup of coffee and pour myself a big bowl of cereal.

The best thing to do is distance myself from Will for the day. Anything is better than being here at the cottage, where the awkwardness is sure to be like a living, breathing entity.

Ten minutes later, Will comes downstairs, freshly showered and wearing faded blue Levi’s and a gray Toronto Smoke t-shirt.

“Morning, Em.” He nods toward my mug. “Any coffee left?”

“Plenty.”

I gulp down the leftover milk in my cereal bowl and swallow the rest of my coffee, scalding my tongue in the process. It’s a small price to pay to get the hell out of here. No way am I hanging around and making small talk. Uh-uh.

“I’m heading down to the lake for the day,” I tell him, placing my empty bowl and mug into the dishwasher.

Will leans against the counter and lifts the coffee mug to his lips. “A little early yet, don’t you think?”

I paste on a smile. “The early bird has all the fun, right?”

As I turn to walk away, he puts his hand on my arm. His fingers are warm, and I fight off another shiver.

“Em, wait.” His voice is low and soft. “Look, I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings last night.”

“It’s fine. It’s not a big deal.”

“Bullshit,” he replies. “We admitted that we’re attracted to each other. We talked about having sex. It’s a huge f*cking deal.”

I tie my hair back into a ponytail. “Let’s just forget about it, okay? I’m your friend, and I respect your feelings. I’d never want to make anything awkward between us. We’ll just pretend it never happened.”

I pray he can’t see through my fa?ade, because I feel just as vulnerable as I did last night and even more humiliated.

Still, I honestly don’t want him to feel uncomfortable around me. I just hope I can stop feeling uncomfortable around him.