Toe the Line(21)

I was attracted to Archie in a different way than I was to James. James was sweet, classically good-looking, and a seriously good guy. Archie, on the other hand, was heartbreakingly handsome and made my knees weak whenever he was around. He was also unattainable. That made any feelings I had for him futile. I was pretty sure Archie looked at me like some younger cousin he needed to protect.

That night at dinner, I realized I’d been looking forward to seeing Archie, but he never showed, not even in his usual fashionably late manner. That made me wonder if he planned to skip our session tonight, too.

After supper, I went up to my room and surfed the net for a bit. At one point, I heard Archie showering. Then about ten minutes later, there was a knock at my door.

Archie was dressed in black joggers and a fitted T-shirt, looking totally fuck-hot and smelling amazing. A piece of wet hair fell over his eyes, and a waft of his scent traveled over to me, putting my body on alert.

“You weren’t at dinner…”

“Yeah. I stayed at Rodney’s law office late.”

“Have you eaten?” I asked.

“I picked up a sub on the way home.” He cracked a smile.

I was instantly relieved that he seemed less on edge than earlier. “So, the big question… Did you do your homework?”

He moved to the corner of my bed. “I did.”

My pulse reacted. Today was the longest I’d been apart from him in a while. My body had apparently missed him. I cleared my throat. “Wonderful.”

Archie opened his notebook and showed me a long list of points he’d jotted down about his dad. Over the next hour, we constructed an outline of everything in chronological order and together began writing his speech. The plan was that eventually, he’d recite it over and over until he was almost bored with it.

After the hour was up, I nodded. “I think we made a good dent in things tonight. Your father has a pretty impressive background, I have to admit.”

“Yeah.” Archie fell back on my bed and stared up at the ceiling. “Impossible to measure up to all that.”

“I can see why you’d think that. But you’re your own person. Regardless of how he makes you feel, you don’t have to measure up to anything.”

He sat up. “It would be nice if he felt that way.”

“Was your dad always tough on you, even when you were younger?”

He shook his head. “Something happened years ago, to me, that changed him.”

Dread filled me, and I didn’t want to prod him. Instead, I just waited.

“There’s something you don’t know about me,” he said. “No one knows, actually, because my parents don’t talk about it.”

My stomach sank. “What is it?”

He looked up at the ceiling again and expelled a long breath. “I may have to bring Fred out for this one.”

“Okay, Fred. Tell me. What happened?”

He met my eyes. “If I tell you, I need you to promise not to mention it to your parents. It’s not something my family talks about with anyone.”

“Okay.” I nodded. “I promise.”

“I was sick when I was a kid. I had leukemia.”

My mouth went agape. “Oh my God. I had no idea.”

“I know. Like I said, they don’t talk about it. My father was just starting his career back then and was under a ton of stress. My parents nearly went bankrupt paying for an experimental treatment that wasn’t covered by insurance. But the drugs worked.” He shook his head slowly. “I think that’s part of why my dad pushes me so damn hard. Almost like… ‘We saved your life, Archie. Now don’t waste it.’”

I blinked incredulously. “How can they not have told my parents about something so important?”

“Well, they didn’t know your parents back then, and very few people know. My parents basically pretend it never happened.” He seemed to think for a moment. “Actually, it’s more my father who won’t let my mother talk about it. It’s his coping mechanism, I guess. There’s still a lot of unresolved trauma from that time that they haven’t dealt with. I don’t know if it’s a form of PTSD or what, but my mother says my dad was never the same after, even though I went into remission.”

It was hard to imagine that this strong, virile guy in front of me had ever been sick like that. “But you’re okay now? You never had a relapse or anything?”

“No. I’m absolutely fine. I mean, you always live with that fear, right? That it could come back. But the doctors said with the kind I had, there was a good chance it wouldn’t ever return.”

“That must’ve been hard for you…to go through that.”

“Honestly, I was so young that I don’t remember a lot of it clearly. Probably a good thing.”

I stared off for a bit to process this. “Well, for the record, I’m really glad you’re okay.”

“Me, too.”

Something occurred to me. “You said your dad changed after that. Do you think him being so harsh toward you is a protective mechanism?”

“You mean, like, he’s afraid to love me because he could lose me?” He nodded. “It’s funny, my mother had a theory similar to that once. But since he won’t talk about it, it’s hard to know what’s going on in his head.”