Jesus Freaks: The Prodigal (Jesus Freaks #2)(6)

“Darlin’, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. He left in the middle of the night and I didn’t know until I woke up this mornin’. Was he at the service? I couldn’t see him on TV.”

“I don’t know. I didn’t see him till we were in the green room after. He’s talking with Pastor Roland now.” It sounds weird to put his title before his name, but my mom’s always been strict regarding formalities.

“Just bite your tongue, Son.” When she says son it calms my forced breathing. Regardless of how I feel about my dad calling me that, or talking with me at all, Mom’s got nothing to do with this.

“I will,” I concede.

“Promise?” Her voice is bright and hopeful, but it’s shaking a bit.

I sigh. “I promise I’ll try. I won’t make a scene, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“I know you won’t, darlin’. Call me tonight, okay?”

“Did he at least leave a note this time?” I ask of Dad’s moonlight departure from home.

The bottomless pause before she speaks brings back memories of the last time. Memories that were already edging their way to the forefront of my mind.

“Yes,” she whispers. “He did. No go on and get back to whatever you’re doing. Talk to you later.”

“I love you,” I force myself to say. I do love her, but saying it doesn’t always come easy.

“I love you.”

With a deep breath, I bow my head after ending the call.

“Please,” I whisper. “I know we haven’t really been on speaking terms lately, but, please just do whatever you’re going to do here. Grace, I guess? Something.”

Exiting the room, I shake my head. Nearly every prayer of mine in the last year has gone unanswered. Or the answer has been “no.” All except for one. And as I situate myself in the doorway with Roland and my dad once again, I watch that prayer in her blue dress and yellow sweater engaging in an intense conversation with Silas. Though, I don’t know that any conversation with Silas could be anything but intense. That boy needs a vacation

“Everything okay, Son?” Dad puts his arm around my shoulders and I have to force my body to stay in place, rather than recoil the way it wants to.

Grace.

I close my eyes for a moment. I prayed for it, but didn’t ask to be given grace to give. I’d like some. Maybe my prayer line is broken. God’s just not understanding what I need and I’m growing more frustrated by the day.

“Everything’s good. Mom just called to check in,” I lied. He knows it’s a lie and Roland probably does, too, but we all just nod.

I chance a quick look to Roland and find him eyeing me sympathetically. I look to the floor, where I wish I could keep my eyes for the entirety of this conversation. However long it lasts.





CHAPTER FOUR





Glad You Came


Kennedy.




That’s got to be Matt’s dad in the doorway. Matt looks like him the way I look like Roland—unmistakable. Though, unlike Roland and me, Matt and the man in the doorway have the same hair, making them look like twins born a couple of decades apart.

I have no idea why Roland and I thought this little luncheon would be a good idea. It’s so damn awkward. Mom doesn’t know where to look, Roland doesn’t know where to stand—though he’s settled with Matt and the man in the doorway—and I don’t know what to do. Though, the alternative was to not see any of my friends until class tomorrow, and I didn’t want to do that, either.

“Give me a second,” I whisper to Mom, indicating that I do, in fact, want to talk to her alone, but need a few minutes to talk to my friends first. She nods, her eyes not fully focusing on mine even though she’s smiling.

There’s an empty chair across from the couch holding Silas, Jonah, and Eden, and next to Bridgette. I throw myself onto it like I weigh six hundred pounds, and offer a loud sigh.

“Thanks for coming, guys. Sorry this is so weird.”

Bridgette leaves her chair and gives me a tight hug. “You were great, Kennedy.”

“For real,” Eden agrees as Bridgette sits back down. “There’s no way I could have stood up there and done what you did. In front of all those people.” She shakes her head rapidly. “No way.”

“It was pretty brave of you,” Jonah interjects.

“Thanks,” I mumble, running a hand over my hair and looking over at Matt. “Is that his dad?” I ask of the group.

“Must be,” Eden leans forward. “They look exactly alike, and I don’t think he has any older brothers.”

Silas claps his hands together and leans forward so his elbows are perched on his knees. “It is,” he answers with certainty, but offering nothing else. “So, now what happens for you?”

I shrug. “I don’t know. I guess I go back to my regularly scheduled life starting tomorrow?” I break into nervous laughter and most of the group follows. Silas doesn’t laugh much as it is so I didn’t really expect him to follow.

“I mean,” he continues, “what’s your plan? Are you going to, like, work with Roland here? Change your major? Move in with him?”

I huff through my nose. “I don’t see why any of those things are necessary right now.”