Forbidden Love with the Marine(11)
Ivan swore that it would only be this one night. He couldn’t let this continue. He’d made the unforgivable error already but it wasn’t one he intended to repeat. Olivia would have to stay away from him – and he’d better stay the hell away from Olivia. Either way, they had to end it right at the beginning before it spiraled out of their control.
It broke his heart when he had to tell her; he was as firm as he could be even when she argued and cried and swore.
I’m sorry I let this happen, Olivia. But we can’t do this again.
He said the words and was going to make sure he meant them. No matter how much it seemed like he was hurting her now, it was better this way. He told himself this even as his very soul wrenched to give her up. He’d done his best to explain to her why they couldn’t let this go any further. They both had to forget it had ever happened to prevent things from taking a turn for the worse.
Spending more time at the base was the only solution. The great thing about being a Marine was that they were in constant training even when in between deployments. There are always skills to be honed and new techniques to be learned that would make a difference in that next assignment.
And it was only a matter of several weeks before Ivan was faced with another high-risk, top secret mission. One that would hold his life in the balance more than any other mission had ever done in the past...
Chapter Nine
“I’m sorry, little dove...but we can’t do this again.”
Olivia could still hear those finalistic words like it was yesterday. Many weeks had passed since then, and yet she could still remember every detail of that fateful night and how Ivan had shown her heaven in his arms. Only to rock her world to its foundations the next morning.
She’d woken up beside him with a smile of contentment on her face. Her whole body ached with all the echoes of their shared passion. She clung happily to his neck and whispered feelingly, “Last night was incredible. I love you.”
Ivan groaned, his arms tightening around her for a moment before he reached behind his neck and unlinked her hands. “Olivia, stop...please. You can’t say that to me. It’s not...right.”
Olivia had frowned in bemusement, staring up at him as he detached his frame from hers and rolled off the bed Quickly, he stepped into his jeans and then shrugged on his t-shirt.
In the cold light of day, her senses returned slowly but she still felt like she had last night; like her whole universe was centered on this one man standing before her. “I don’t understand,” she’d whispered, her heart thumping with dread.
Ivan sighed deeply, pushing his hands over his head. “I’m so, so sorry I let this happen. I was crazy and well...you’re impossible to resist when you put your mind to it, Liv.” His curvy lips had slanted wryly, and then he sobered, adding, “But we can’t do this again. You need to get dressed, little dove, and I’ll take you home.”
“No,” she’d whispered, clutching the sheets to her. How desperately she’d gazed at him, her eyes pleading. Olivia hated herself now for the way she’d begged, appealed to him to change his mind.
Ivan kept shaking his head, sighing raggedly. “For your own good, you need to stay away from me, Olivia. I can’t give you want you want. You might think you’re in love with me, but I promise you it’s only going to bring us both trouble. Right now, an emotional involvement is the last thing I need. The kind of lifestyle I live...half the year I exist practically out of a duffel bag. I have to do things...go to extents you wouldn’t imagine me capable of. Being a Marine takes a lot of me; right now there’s just no way I can offer any woman a decent relationship and I would never ask you to accept that. You’re too special to me for that. I’ve always sworn to myself to protect you...”
“I told you before, Ivan, I don’t need a big brother if that’s what you mean!” she’d cried out impatiently in reply. “I think I’m old enough to know what I want. I’m not asking you to devote your whole life to me. I understand perfectly how tough your job is. And it’s never bothered me. I’m not...I’m not the clinging type. I can handle whatever it takes for us to be together. If it’s something purely physical you want, then I’m cool with that.”
“Are you? You think so?” he asked softly, eyes narrowing as he regarded her speculatively. “You’re sure you can handle just being there for the sex?”
“If that’s all you’re offering, yes,” Olivia said, her chin tilting upwards. “If that’s the only thing you feel comfortable sharing with me.”
“Damn, Olivia,” Ivan groaned half in fury, half in frustration. “So that’s what you want to have? That ‘friends with benefits’ bullshit? What the hell? You deserve better, especially from me. Especially when your father is more like an uncle to me – always has been since my mom and dad died.”
Olivia had shaken her head with irritation. “You know the last thing you have to worry about is my parents. They know I’m an adult for heaven’s sake. They would never disapprove of us being together. That’s just crazy. You know how highly they think of you.”
“Exactly,” Ivan gritted out. “So the last thing I should be doing is messing with their only daughter. Don’t you get it? This isn’t going to work. What if something goes wrong and I end up hurting you? Or what if you suddenly decide your crush has worn off and I’m not such a thrill to you anymore? What then? A misunderstanding erupting between us can rip our close-knit family bonds apart. How can I risk that happening?”