Dark Needs(10)

I knew where Bee would be before I spotted her. I shifted between the tables and made my way to a quiet corner in the back of the room, the one most shadowed by the trees outside the high window. Bee was perched on one of the round stools attached to the table, her back against the wall, hugging her knees to her chest, chewing on her thumbnail, staring out into space.

Bee was always a little awkward when she was uncomfortable, in an adorable, didn't know what to do with her hands, kind of way.

It wasn't what she was doing that surprised me.

It was what she was wearing.

A f*cking black hoodie.

Zipped all the way up to her f*cking throat.

Just looking at her wearing that thing brought up fond memories of when we first met, and broke my f*cking heart at the same time.

She was retreating internally, and I was already forming an idea on how to pull her back out.

I just had to get out of that shit-hole prison first.

Bee's red hair was well past her shoulder blades on the way to her waist, and unlike Georgia's adorable yet unruly curls, Bee's hair was naturally stick straight. She still didn't wear any makeup, her insanely big blue eyes and spattering of freckles were more than enough to dress up her already perfect pale skin and naturally full pink lips.

A year had passed so quickly, just a tiny blip on the radar of the length of time I really wanted to spend with Bee and Georgia. We were just getting started on the forever I'd promised them.

I couldn't lose it all now.

I couldn't lose her.

Ever.

Bee deserved better than me, but I was drawn to her innocence, and she was drawn to my darkness. Together, we made a whole lot of no sense, and it was just the way I liked it.

Lightning striking is too cliché for the moment Abby Ford appeared out of nowhere and literally fell into my life. It felt more like she had me on my knees with a knife to my throat and had me begging for my life, but a new kind of life. One with her in it.

A life worth living.

A person worth living for.

Every day I spend with Bee is another day she breaks my f*cking heart and repairs it all over again. Being with her makes the tiny hairs on my arm stand on end and my heart drop into my stomach every time she enters the f*cking room.

I LOVED her. I was OBSESSED with her.

If anyone tried to tell me a story that involved love at first sight, I would shake my head and call it a bunch of horseshit. Love in general was a sketchy concept. Instant love was just f*cking ridiculous.

Until her.

The only thing with a stronger pull than the monstrous need to take the life of another was the pull of Abigail Ford.

She didn't show me that I was capable of love. She was the one who made me capable of love.

Of loving her.

Of loving Georgia.

The need for Abby was stronger than my need for anything else.

I loved her.

I still love her.

I will always f*cking love her.



"Hey," She said. "You okay?"

I couldn't help but laugh.

"Am I okay?" There I was worried about her and Georgia and how I was going to protect them from inside a jail cell, and my girl, who was free to be out in the world, was asking me, her 6'1" deranged husband with a penchant for dancing with the devil, if I was okay.

"Yes," she said, answering my question, but not reacting to my outburst. Normally, Bee would have crossed her arms over her chest and asked me what the f*ck I thought was so f*cking funny.

"Baby girl." Kneeling in front of her, I took her hands in mine, resting them both on her lap. "I'm laughing because it's a f*cking ridiculous question and because you don't ever need to be worrying about me." I pushed a stray hair off of her forehead and tucked it behind her ear. Bee's chin fell to her chest, she took a deep breath. "I'm just fine, baby," I assured her. I pulled her close and pressed my lips to hers. I wished that somehow that kiss would stop whatever thoughts were making her withdraw and snap her out of the place she went to when all wasn't right in her world.

It was a flat out lie, I wasn't okay by any means, but I didn't need Bee worrying about me. The more she worried, the more she would retreat from me and the harder it would be to make things right again. What I wanted to tell her is that without her, without Georgia, even for just a few hours, I was the furthest thing from fine.

But there was no f*cking way I was going to tell her that, especially when she was wearing that hoodie. Bee's equivalent of a security blanket. The message she was sending me was loud and clear. She was freaking the f*ck out. She was afraid of losing me.