Cruel Fortune (Cruel #2)(2)

“But you did make that bet,” she said tightly.

“I know. And I can apologize until I’m blue in the face if that will make it right with you. I just can’t envision a world in which this ruins us. In which you walk away and don’t see that we’re perfect for each other.”

“All I see is someone who flew out here, thinking a grand gesture would fix everything,” she said crisply.

“You know that’s not true. I’m not just telling you what I want you to hear. If it were all a lie, why would I even be here, Natalie?”

“Because you get everything you want in your life, and I’m the only thing that walked away of my own volition.”

“I’m standing here because I want to make this work. I want us to work. You might delude yourself into thinking this was all a bet, but it was real. Every night we spent together in that house was real. How I feel for you is real. We have perfect chemistry. We work so well together.” I took another step forward and grasped her hand. “Natalie, I’ve fallen in love with you.”

She wrenched her hand back and glared at me. I could see the emotions warring through her. “How can you even say that to me?”

“Because it’s the truth.”

“What is the truth?” she snapped at me. “The truth means nothing to you. All you ever do is lie and manipulate to get your way. You have no idea what is true, and you have no idea what love is.”

“You know that’s not true. You feel it, too.”

“Maybe I did,” she said, her voice cracking. “Maybe I fell in love with you. But what does that matter now after what you did to me? How can you ever make that right?”

“I’ll do anything to make it right, Natalie. Just give me the opportunity.”

Her face crumpled, and she sniffled. “God, I can’t believe you’re really here.”

“Of course I’m here. I couldn’t let you walk away, thinking that I didn’t feel the same way. We can make this work. We can.”

“How?” she asked, brushing away a stray tear. “Tell me how this works. In what reality does an Upper East Side playboy and the help work out? Because I don’t see it.”

“Because none of that matters. The only thing that matters is how you and I feel.”

“But it does matter.” Her brilliant blue eyes lifted to mine. “Love isn’t enough.”

“Natalie…”

“If it were just us—right here, right now—maybe it would be different,” she said. “Maybe it would be happily ever after. But it’s not like that. It’s not that at all. How we feel is not the only issue here.”

“I know it’s not, but we can conquer anything together. I know we can.”

She paced away from me, shaking her head. She was clearly conflicted, but I knew that I could get through to her. I could reach her. Have her see that we could work because I knew we could. I’d never been more certain about anything.

“The first time we met, you said that your deepest, darkest secret was that you hated your family and their expectations. You said you wanted to live a different life. Well, it’s six years later, Penn, and as much as you think you’ve gotten out, you’re still living that life. You still live on the Upper East Side. You still hang out with the same crew. You’re still making bets, seducing women, and ruining lives. There is nothing different about your life.”

“You’re different.”

She laughed hollowly. “But, if we were together, I’d have to live that life, too.”

I paused, hearing what she was saying. I was a full package. I didn’t just come with me and my puppy, Totle. It was so much more. And she was finally seeing how horrible it was. Something I’d known for so long.

“So, if it were just me and you,” she whispered, “then…maybe. But it’s not. And it never will be. You will always have to deal with your mother and friends and the Upper East Side. You’ll always be in the public eye. You’ll always have to deal with secrets and drama and skeletons in the closet and all of this stuff that I can’t even comprehend.”

“We don’t have to deal with any of that,” I tried to assure her.

“You’re right. We don’t. But you do.”

“Natalie, please, listen to me. I don’t need any of that. I only need you.”

“I wish I could believe you,” she said, taking a step backward. “But I don’t. You can’t escape the Upper East Side, Penn. You tried and failed. So, how the hell would I be able to get away?”

I froze in place and stared at this beautiful woman who I had completely fallen for. And I realized…she was right.

I hated my life. I hated the obligations and drama and expectations. I wanted out. I’d wanted out for a very long time. But I hadn’t gotten away.

“We both know the answer,” she said softly.

“But I love you,” I said one more time in desperation.

She nodded as a tear trickled down her cheek. “That’s not enough. Not after what we went through and what you did. There’s no future in which I come back to New York with you. Your mother hates me. Your friends hate me. I don’t belong in that world…and you do.”

I opened my mouth to contradict her, but I couldn’t seem to do it. I wanted her in my world. I wanted her there desperately. But, if I hated my life and didn’t want to live in it, then how could I blame her?