Breathe In (Just Breathe, #1)(10)



That’s when I met the man that sits before me today, sharing with me this wonderful meal, this wonderful moment. He is not just a friend. He has become family. He has become my brother. Other than my parents, he and Maggie are the only two people who truly have my heart — and who could break it.

Before heading back to my apartment after lunch, Jared and I decide to walk Colorado Boulevard to do some shopping instead of going to the P.O. Box right away. We take a break on Miller Alley to get some gelati and to give Sadie some more water and a little snack before resuming our stroll. We both find a few cute items in Banana Republic and J. Crew that are on sale. We figure we owe ourselves a little shopping spree after our successful morning. Jared complains at the lack of accommodations Kate Spade has for gay men before continuing on.

Our last stop is at Tiffany’s. I’m not a big jewelry kind of girl, but all that sparkle is sure fun to drool over. They do have a beautiful pair of ruby studded earrings that I decide to purchase. I convince the salesman to give me a good discount by flirting with him. Jared tries to sell me on the ruby teardrop set that are encrusted with diamonds, but I politely decline. I may have money, but I never go anywhere that would warrant wearing those gorgeous accessories.

Dropping us off at the gate, Jared kisses both Sadie and me as we say farewell. Returning to the apartment, I find a place for each of my new items. Snuggling on the couch with Sadie, I read a book to kill some time before dinner, then some business research and streaming a movie before bed.





Four


A few days later, I spend the entire day cleaning my whole apartment from top to bottom. Mia, my cleaning lady, would have a conniption fit if she found out that I was doing her job. She’s been working for me since I moved into the Arc Apartments that overlook the Del Mar Train Station four years ago. Every week on Thursdays, Mia comes. She has a key for the times when I’m not home, which is the case the majority of the time.

Two weeks ago, I told her that I was giving her a paid day off for this week’s worth of work. She knows that this time of year, every year, I give her time off, but she never knows why. Mia is a sweet young woman not much older than me. She speaks little English, but that isn’t a complication since I’m fluent in Spanish. What’s most important is that Mia is a person I can trust and my trust has to be earned before it is ever given.

There is only one day a year I partake in this obsessive cleaning habit and that is in preparation for the upcoming Chinese New Year. I learned about all of the Chinese traditions, old and new, from Maggie and her family. Her parents moved to America when Maggie was barely one-year-old.

Maggie is my other best friend. Jared and I met her a few weeks after I came to California. It was my second day on the job at Jensen’s Florist with Jared when he and I decided to have some lunch at the Peking Wok Chinese Restaurant that is across the street and on the opposite corner from Jensen’s in downtown Los Angeles. Maggie’s parents, Mr. and Mrs. Li, opened their restaurant shortly after they had moved to America. Maggie didn’t normally work at the restaurant during the day because of classes, but school was closed due to a national holiday.

Maggie greeted us at the door with a beautiful, bubbly smile that was infectious. We were seated just as their lunch crowd was dying down. Over the course of a few weeks, Jared and I stopped in for lunch or dinner at the Peking Wok and we ran into Maggie several times. Jared and Maggie did all of the talking since I still hadn’t started speaking. I would nod in agreement when necessary.

When Maggie found out that we lived on the outskirts of Chinatown, she became instantly excited. Her family lived in Chinatown. Evenings or weekends when she was free from school or working at the restaurant, and when Jared and I were not working at Jensen’s, the three of us would get together. One night in May about four months after I started living with Jared, Maggie came over to celebrate Jared’s nineteenth birthday. Both Maggie and Jared were shocked when they heard me speak for the first time. Their eyes opened wide and their mouths hung in astonishment after they heard me wish Jared happy birthday with a voice that sounded like sandpaper.


“Holy Shit!” Jared cried out, running over to hug me. “And, here all this time, I really did think you were mute.”

After that night, if I spoke, it was to them and to them alone. Over time, I opened up to both of them more. Eventually I would speak to other people, but I kept quiet, reserved and guarded. We became best friends. We became family.

Turning on some music through my computer, I get to work cleaning the apartment with the occasional break to eat, play with Sadie or take her out for a walk. Cleaning the home before the New Year in Chinese tradition is a ceremony. It creates a fresh, clean environment to welcome the coming new year. Sweeping the dust away represents a wish to put away old things and bid farewell to the passing year. I find myself singing some of the Chinese songs I’ve learned over the past eight years from the Li family. They’re comforting and reassuring as I go through this cleansing journey.

I don’t follow every Chinese tradition that I have learned from Maggie and her family, but this cleansing ritual is one of my favorites, other than New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day themselves. There is a feeling of healing that takes place for me each time I do this and I hope that the cleaning helps to rid me of my nightmares.

From sun up to sun down I keep cleaning, finally finishing by about eight-thirty at night. With everything back in place, I begin to sage the entire apartment as I say certain chants and prayers in Mandarin. The sage helps to ward off any negative energy as well as to bless the confines of my home.

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