Before I Do(14)



Vivien’s face tightened. Hillary howled with laughter. Everyone else at the table made politely amused sounds. Audrey saw a look pass between Vivien and Brian across the table and imagined how awkward it must be for her mother to have one of her ex-husbands there.

“Now, as many of you know, I spent a large part of my early diplomatic career out in Me-hi-co,” Lawrence went on. “Wonderful work, charming people, and I was lucky enough to attend a wedding or two while I was there—perk of the job as a visiting dignitary. They have a tradition in Me-hi-co where they lasso the couple together in the church.” At this, he bent down to fetch something from behind his chair, pulling out a long garland made from rope and flowers. “It’s supposed to symbolize unity. The lasso, or el lazo, is shaped into an infinity symbol, to signify how long the marriage will last.” He held up the garland, twisting it into a figure of eight. “So, I thought this evening I would bind these two together.”

A buzz of approval and anticipation went around the room. Vivien blew Lawrence an overenthusiastic kiss, then soundlessly clapped her hands together, soft as butterfly wings, before stealing a nervous glance back at Brian. Lawrence beckoned Audrey and Josh to make their way behind the chairs to come and stand beside him. The room was cramped, there was no room to move, but they obediently shuffled behind Debbie, Michael, and Granny Parker until they stood on either side of Lawrence’s chair at the top of the table. Audrey let out a breath, then worried it had sounded too much like a sigh or even a stifled yelp of pain. A waiter hovered near the door, ready to take everyone’s dessert orders, and Audrey could tell Debbie was worried that this unsanctioned lassoing ceremony might delay the pace of the next course.

Granny Parker held up her butter knife to Lawrence, tapping the inscription. “Stainless steel—also invented in Yorkshire.”

“Excellent,” he said, politely guiding Granny Parker’s knifed hand back down toward the table. He picked up the garland in front of him. “I always thought I could have been a minister. It’s the Catholic in me. If either of you want to confess anything before tomorrow, get something off your chest, I’m all ears.”

Vivien laughed. Audrey clenched her teeth beneath her smile. She didn’t dare look at anyone else, so she kept her eyes on Josh. He moved a finger over his top teeth, then pointed, ever so subtly, across at her. She frowned, then felt between her front teeth and removed the offending fleck of spinach. She cringed with embarrassment that everyone had seen this little back-and-forth between them.

“I might say a few words, while we’re standing up here,” said Josh, reaching out to take Audrey’s hands. “Many of you know the story of how we got together. If you’d told Audrey four years ago that she would end up marrying Bad Jeans Josh, I’m not sure she would have been thrilled by the prospect.” Audrey smiled at this, and she heard Miranda’s laugh cut through all the other noise. “But from our very first date, part of me hoped one day we’d be here. Audrey makes me laugh every single day. She inspires me with how she sees the world, the universe, and she challenges me to be less uptight. She is always worrying about whether she’s a good person, but honestly, Audrey, I’ve never known you to do anything worse than leave the flat in a mess. You’re one of life’s great people—from where I’m standing, the best person—and I can’t wait to marry you tomorrow.”

He leaned in to kiss her, while everyone around the table cheered. Audrey tensed. His speech, though lovely and sincere, only reminded her of what Josh didn’t know. Would he still love her if he knew the unhappiness she had caused? She glanced across at her mother, whose eyes were intent on her wineglass. Perhaps it was Vivien who still knew her better than anyone.

Lawrence clapped to get everyone’s attention, clearly irked at having his lasso ceremony highjacked by an impromptu speech from the groom.

“So, with the power vested in me by the Red Lion pub,” Lawrence said, affecting a pompous voice, “it is my hope that you will be unified for eternity, in God’s love and protection.”

He reached up and put one half of the garland over Josh’s head. In the cramped room, and with the end of the table and Lawrence between them, Audrey and Josh had to shuffle forward so that Lawrence could lift the other end of the loop over Audrey’s head.

“The perfect fit,” said Lawrence, looking between them both and holding out his arms. Clara and Brian both stood up to take photos on their phones.

Audrey’s eyes connected with Josh’s, and he mouthed, “I love you.” She felt a weight shift from her shoulders, and her smile turned into one that was real. She loved this man, she did. Whatever had happened in the past needed to stay in the past—weddings were about the future.

“And now I have prepared a poem, a traditional blessing from Me-hi-co,” said Lawrence.

Audrey moved a foot to steady herself, but her shoe caught on Lawrence’s chair. She tripped backward, unable to catch herself, and the garland of rope yanked Josh, pulling him across the table, his arm falling onto dishes of half-finished food, hitting wineglasses, which smashed onto plates, spraying the table linen, the guests, and even the walls with streaks of red. Audrey felt a sharp pain down the side of her neck as the rope cut into her skin. She fell, pulling Josh down with her, and they landed in a sprawl on the floor, her arm slamming into Granny Parker’s chair on the way down.

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