Goddess of Love (Goddess Summoning #5)(10)

"Enough! We are fini for today, Dorreth," Madam Ringwater said, with a look of disgust. "You cannot concentre sur le ballet when your mind is on the boudoir."

Pea gasped and froze mid-toe lift. "But Madam Ringwater, I'm not - "

The ancient dance instructor lifted her well manicured hand, silencing Pea. "L'amour fait des imbeciles de nous tous. Now go. Next time you will work twice as hard, oui?"

"Okay. Yes. I'm sorry, Madam, I just..." Pea shrugged, not really knowing if she felt embarrassed or pleased. Impulsively she hugged the old woman before she grabbed her towel and hurried out of the studio. No one had ever said anything like that to her before! No one had ever even implied that she might be preoccupied with what went on in her bedroom. Maybe her life was changing.

Well, she was willing - she was! She would...she would...Pea chewed her lip as she got in her car and backed out of the studio parking lot. She would not let this...whatever it was that had suddenly grabbed hold of her go. Pea drove aimlessly for a while, and then her eyes widened when she saw the big red-and-white Borders sign for the Twenty-first Street store. That was it!

She'd go into the bookstore and research how to get some style - some sense of nonordinaryness. She could figure out how to cook a gourmet meal, change her oil, tear down old wallpaper and make a room look magnificent. She could even plan classes for the entire continuing education department at her college. Surely she could teach herself how to be less...less...dorky.

Why had she not thought of it like that before? She knew the answer all too well. She had let the past rule her present. Pea wanted to slap herself on the forehead. Well, she wasn't going to let it control her future! Personal style wasn't some kind of dark, mysterious, unknown woman's territory that was off limits to her. It was just something she needed to learn. And this damn sure wasn't high school anymore. Post - high school and college she'd learned how to do all sorts of hard things. Successfully. Style had to be just another learnable skill. Sure, it was too embarrassing to ask someone like perfect, Barbie-like Stacy to teach her personal style, but couldn't she just read about it? Man, oh man! She'd been such an idiot! She'd already maybe kinda attracted an incredibly handsome man's attention who she'd been crushing on for a year. Didn't that mean she at least had potential to work with? Pea was going to make herself believe it did. She parked right in front of Borders and, like a woman with a mission, marched into the store.

Chapter Three

I t wasn't until she'd seen the matron sobbing semihysterically in the women's self-help aisle that she thought about the English translation to the French sentence Madam Ringwater had said to her. L'amour fait des imbeciles de nous tous, Pea suddenly realized, meant Love makes fools of us all. She tried not to stare at the weeping woman who was holding a copy of a book titled Why Men Love Bitches.

Pea decided that maybe she was in the wrong section and left women's self-help to cross through the g*y and lesbian studies section. No point in stopping there. Not unless she wanted to change teams. She paused and considered whether she'd be interested in having sex with a woman. No. Well at least she was sure about that. Pea left that section and moved to the adjoining shelves labeled New Age, where the brightly colored spines snagged her attention. The first pretty book she pulled off the shelf was titled Magick & Rituals of the Moon. Curious, Pea thumbed through it. Chapter titles like "The Full Moon Esbat" and "Waxing and Waning Moon Magick" were as foreign to Pea as they were intriguing. She put the book back and let her eyes roam over the other titles. Earth Power, Powerful Protection Magic, and Magical Rites from the Crystal Well continued to pique her interest. Wow! She'd never heard of any of these books - or any of these ideas. Was this witchcraft? She noticed a book titled Wicca Demystified by Bryan Lankford. Huh. Guess some of it was witchcraft. Pea shrugged, literally and figuratively. At least there were no sobbing women in this aisle. Then something flickered at the edge of her vision. Something like the flutter of butterfly wings or maybe the faint sputter of a candle in a breeze. Pea turned and she felt a little catch in her breath, as if someone had just whispered a cool secret to her. The hardback book's spine was the color of heavy cream and it beckoned with its richness. In silver script the title appeared to shine: Discover the Goddess Within - Unleash Venus and Open Your Life to Love. Her hand reached out, almost hesitantly, even though her full attention had been captured by the book. With a subdued shush sound it slid free from between the two books pressed against it.

Pea ran her fingers over the cover. The title was there in raised silver embossed script, along with the author's name, Juno Panhellenius, which should have seemed weird, but Pea thought instead it felt right that the author's name evoked a sense of ancient magic and mystery. The only decoration on the cover was the silver outline of a timeless (and very curvy) goddess figure. Her arms were upraised with the full moon resting between her hands. The goddess looked sexy and mysterious and desirable. Pea thought how odd it was that the book felt cool beneath the balls of her fingertips. She opened it and glanced down the table of contents: "Know Venus and Know Confidence," "Know Venus and Know Beauty," "Know Venus and Know Sexual Confidence"...and on and on until, finally, "Know Venus - Evoke the Goddess!"

A trickle of excitement skittered through Pea's body. That was it! If she could teach herself to have the confidence of a goddess then surely she'd no longer be invisible! And what better goddess than the Goddess of Love, Venus herself? Who could ignore Venus? If a woman had the allure of a goddess, what couldn't she do? (Or who couldn't she do?) Giggling softly, Pea clutched the book to her chest and hurried toward the checkout line. Pea felt light and happy and hopeful as she pulled out of the Borders parking lot and, on impulse, headed downtown. She checked the time - five thirty-five. Yes! Her favorite restaurant, Lola's at the Bowery, would be open, but it was still early enough that it wouldn't be too crowded. She'd grab the corner table, which was perfect for reading, and order her favorite appetizer, the Italian antipasto platter. Oooh! She might even treat herself to one of Lola's specialty martinis; it'd be like she was on holiday!