Avoiding Decisions (Avoiding #1.5)(8)
Once Jack took his seat next to Lexi, the Ferris wheel began to rotate in an endless circle. Jack smirked at Lexi, and then started shaking their bucket back and forth. She grabbed on to the sides and squeaked. The girl in the bucket in front of them started threatening them, but he just laughed.
Lexi put her hand on his knee. “Calm down. We don’t want to get kicked off!”
“I know the guy who’s running it. No way we’ll get kicked off,” Jack said.
But he stopped anyway and used that moment to throw his arm across the back of the bucket seat. Lexi relaxed until she was almost leaning into him but not quite. He wondered what she was thinking.
As they made their final rotation, the ride crawled to a stop at the very top, looking out across the open fields. Jack smiled, silently thanking his friend, as the sun was setting low on the horizon, casting the last sliver of orange, pink, and red on the sky.
The world was lost to them in that moment, and without a second thought, he dropped his arm across her shoulders and drew her into him, her head falling into the crook of his neck. She fit into him like she was the missing puzzle piece. She sighed contentedly just as the sun dropped from the sky, leaving them to stare out at the twinkling white stars burning in the distance.
They spent the next several hours perusing the carnival life. He even won her a huge teddy bear from a dart game. She held it tightly as they made their way toward the exit with the rest of the crowd. An associate stuffed two green T-shirts into their hands as they stepped across the threshold.
Later that evening, Jack drove Lexi back to her dorm. The whole time he couldn’t stop wishing that the night didn’t have to end. He’d had a great time with her, and despite all the complications, he really wanted to see her again. It felt like only seconds before he was pulling up in front of her dorm again.
“Do you want me to park and walk you up?” Jack asked. He turned on his warning blinkers again.
“No, not necessary. Thanks,” Lexi said, collecting her things to exit.
He couldn’t let her just leave like that. He’d had too good of a time to let her just leave like that.
“Hey, wait,” he said. He threw the car in park and ran around to the other side.
He had to say good night. Fuck everything else…he just had to. It was Lexi.
As soon as she was at arm’s length, he reached out for her and pulled her into his arms. When she slid her arms up around his neck, he pushed their bodies flush together as he stood there, letting her legs dangle.
He couldn’t help feeling like she belonged there. He didn’t want her to go. He wanted to put her back in the car and take her to his place. He wanted to kiss her, explore her. He wanted to know everything about her little body. He wanted to know everything about her. Just her.
Fuck. What was he doing?
With her pressed into him, all he could think was that it didn’t matter.
“I hope you don’t mind, but I couldn’t leave without a hug,” he whispered.
“Oh no,” she said breathily, “I don’t mind at all.”
He had to restrain himself as he placed her back on her feet. He couldn’t kiss her. No, he couldn’t go that far. He wouldn’t do that to Danielle—no matter how ready he was to break up with her, no matter how much he wanted Lexi, no matter how much Lexi was staring up at him like she would go back with him.
He bent down and placed a chaste kiss on her cheek. He’d give himself that much. But that was it. He needed to get out of there before he changed his mind.
Straightening abruptly, he turned and fled. He felt like a coward…even if he was doing the right thing.
CHAPTER 5
CHOICES, CHOICES
Jack hadn’t been able to stay away from Lexi. Something was wrong with him. What kind of dick keeps letting her show up when he couldn’t find the right time to tell her about his girlfriend?
She kept appearing at the coffee shop, chatting with him in between studying for her tests. Then, he started bringing coffee to her at her classes. She began coming over to the apartment and playing video games with the guys.
Soon, she was always around, and he liked her being around all the time. And the more he liked her being around, the less he wanted to tell her about Danielle.
He tried to keep his distance. He would never be around her when he was drinking. He didn’t trust himself to not do anything.
On the first game day, she had tailgated with friends on the other side of campus, which was a relief because Danielle had shown up. He’d had no idea how he would have explained that.
When he had gone home last weekend, he thought about breaking up with Danielle. Sure, a large part of the reason that he hadn’t done it was probably due to the sex, but they had been together for so long that when he was with her, it was just different. He didn’t know what he wanted to do.
Then, there was the time that he almost hadn’t been able to hold it back. Lexi had come over for to watch a movie on Sunday night, and she had dressed up for him. She was all smiles and flirting. He had picked her up and carried her into his room, kicking himself the whole time but knowing that he wasn’t going to stop.
He had tried to tell her. He’d tried to say what she was driving him to do, but then she had straddled him, and he was lost. If his phone hadn’t rang in that moment—with f**king Danielle calling no less—he knew he wouldn’t have stopped. And it scared him.