Savor You (Fusion #5)(15)

“I’m exhausted.” I take a sip of the red wine that Kat poured for us before she left. The whole place is closed now, and Mia and I are the only ones still here.

“You did great today,” she says with a smile. She pulls her hair out of the ponytail and shakes it out until it’s framing her face. “That’s better.”

“We sold out of the special,” I inform her with a satisfied grin.

“I heard,” she says with a nod. “It was delicious. Thanks again.”

“It was fun, but I don’t know how you manage to do this every damn day.”

“You’d think I would be thinner,” she says with a frown and looks down at herself. “But I’m afraid that ship has sailed.”

“You’re beautiful,” I reply.

“You always said that,” she says. “I had some pretty intense confidence issues when I knew you, and I always wondered how you could find me pretty.”

“Why weren’t you confident?”

“Because kids and teenagers are mean.” She shrugs. “Even my mother used to say, It’s okay, Mia. Italian boys like chubby girls. She wasn’t trying to be mean.”

“It sounds mean,” I reply and feel my blood heat up. “And for the record, I was attracted to you. Hell, I still am.”

Her eyes widen in surprise. “Interesting.”

I laugh. “All you have to say is interesting?”

“Well, it is interesting. And now that I’m embarrassed, let’s keep this train rolling and have that talk I mentioned this morning.”

“Okay.” I set my wine away from me and turn to face her, giving her my undivided attention. She looks so damn tired. “What’s up?”

“I need to apologize,” she says. “And not just about this morning. I was talking with Cami and Landon last night, and for the first time since before, I let myself think about everything that happened. I was wrong, Camden.

“I was so fucking embarrassed,” she whispers and clenches her eyes shut. “When the doctor told me that the pregnancy wasn’t real, I was just mortified. I admit I was also a little sad because even though I was terrified, I didn’t hate the idea of the baby. But mostly I was embarrassed. I didn’t know what to say to you. We weren’t a couple.”

I’m hung up on that last sentence. “What?”

“I was embarrassed.”

“No, the last thing.”

“We weren’t a couple?”

“Yeah, that. We weren’t? Because I don’t think we were on the same page there.”

She turns in her seat now, facing me. “Camden, we never said we were an exclusive thing.”

“Well I sure as fuck wasn’t screwing anyone else. Not to mention, we got married, Mia. That’s pretty fucking exclusive.”

“I wasn’t seeing anyone else either.” She shakes her head. “I assumed the sex was exclusive, but we never said we were in a relationship. I thought we were friends with some fun benefits.”

I sit and let her spill out the rest, but I want to shake her.

“And then we thought I was pregnant, and you shocked the hell out of me when you said we would get married. Before I knew it, we were married. It happened so fast. And then the doctor told me that the only reason you married me wasn’t even real.”

“The only reason?”

“Of course.” She frowns and I want to kiss those wrinkles between her eyes. “So, I packed my things and you know the rest.

“I didn’t let myself think about you after I came back to Portland. Whenever I did, it only made me sad and so ashamed. Instead, I moved ahead and tried to put you in my past.”

“Is that it?” I ask. She nods. “I have a few things to say.” I take a sip of wine, gathering my thoughts. “First of all, you need to know that I didn’t do anything that I didn’t want to. You didn’t trap me, Mia. You didn’t coerce me. I married you because I was excited about the baby.”

Her eyes widen in surprise.

“That’s right, I was excited. I know that we were too young, and poor as hell, and would have made so many mistakes, but I thought that baby would be an adventure. And going on that adventure with you? Jesus, it doesn’t get any better than that. You were my girlfriend. You made me laugh, and you made me think. You challenged me, and that was such a fucking turn-on. So, if you take nothing else from this conversation, remember this: I was there because I wanted to be there, not just because it was the right thing to do.

“When I got home from work that day and found you gone, well, it was probably one of the worst days of my life, second only to the day my parents died.”

She squeezes her eyes closed. “I’m so sorry.”

“You could have talked to me. I did some research after you left, and learned that false-positive pregnancy tests happen. We would have discussed it, and decided what to do from there, together.

“Instead, you took that decision and made it yours alone.”

“I did,” she says with a nod. “And I’m a horrible person.”

“No, you’re not.” I sigh. “Nine years ago, this whole conversation would have made me so fucking mad.”

“You know,” she says and clears her throat. “You never tried to find me.”