Before I Saw You(12)

Guilt and – as much as he was loath to admit it – pity started to rise up inside him. How unfair they’d all been. Sharon had been wrong. His neighbour hadn’t demanded anything; this had all come from Nurse Angles as a ploy to help her. He vowed to put the record straight and tell Sharon as soon as he could.

The sound of the wheelchair being rolled back across the floor to her bay was the signal they’d all been waiting for. An hour later the session had finished. It was over. But no one dared move an inch until Nurse Angles had spoken.

‘Right, everyone, you’re free to get up.’ Nurse Angles’ voice rang out over the ward.

‘About bloody time too!’ Mr Peterson groaned loudly.

‘Until next time you herd us all back in like cattle again!’ Sharon barked.

‘How long are we going to have to do this for, nurse? I’ll make sure I’ve got snacks next time.’ Jackie smirked.

‘Every other week, until I say otherwise. So you’d better get the food supplies sorted sharpish.’

Disgruntled mumblings and restless shuffling rippled down the ward, but despite the green light no one moved. Curtains remained firmly closed and the patients stayed dutifully in their beds. Whether it was out of lethargy or protest Alfie couldn’t be sure; all he knew was that even his trusted puzzles couldn’t distract him. No matter how hard he tried, his thoughts kept wandering back to her. When he’d heard her being wheeled through the ward, an overwhelming urge to take a look had come over him. All he’d have to do was take a small peek through his curtains. All he wanted was a glimpse of the person at the centre of the whole charade. Who was this woman? How badly was she hurt? Even to see the back of her head would have given him some kind of satisfaction, but he knew better. All eyes would be on red alert for any peeping Toms, and Alfie didn’t fancy being called out as the rule breaker in front of everyone. Plus, curiosity was no excuse for disrespect.

Taking a deep breath, he hauled himself up, reaching this time for his crutches over the dreaded prosthesis. After walking, his stump would often be sore and sensitive, so he’d allow himself a few moments to take a break. Even though the confinement had ceased, he still felt nervous about leaving his bay. An old childish fear of being told off lingered over him.

‘Mother A, have you got a minute?’ Alfie approached the nurses’ station cautiously.

‘Of course.’ She looked flustered and a bit out of sorts.

‘What’s going on?’

‘What do you mean, what’s going on?’ Her eyebrows began to knit themselves together in the centre of her forehead.

‘With the lady in bed thirteen.’

Nurse Angles stopped her filing and turned to face him square on. ‘I told you she was traumatized, Alfie. Before she’d even got here I warned you.’

‘I know, but I guess I didn’t realize quite how badly. Surely this “shut everyone away until she finally ventures out into the big wide world” debacle can’t go on for ever.’

‘Really, Alfie? I’m surprised! I thought you of all people would be up for helping her come out of her shell.’

‘I am. I just don’t quite understand why she’s getting all this special treatment.’ He loathed how childish and spoilt he sounded.

‘It’s not your job to understand, Alfie. But if you really want to know, the poor girl hasn’t spoken a word since she got here, and to top it off she hasn’t had a single visitor either. Her emergency contact is all the way in Australia apparently, and nobody can get hold of her. There’s no one else, OK, Alfie. No one. So if it’s all right with you, we’ve taken the decision to give her some extra support.’

Nurse Angles had never spoken to him like this before. Her eyes were wide in defiance and her breathing had grown heavy. She looked like she was readying herself for a battle that not even Alfie was foolish enough to fight. The shame started to swell up into his chest.

‘No one has been to see her?’ The words were only just starting to sink in.

‘I shouldn’t have told you that. Sorry, I forgot myself for a second.’ She shook her head in frustration. ‘It’s just … she needs our help, and I’m trying to do the best I can.’

The exasperation in her voice hit him the hardest. The indestructible Mother A suddenly seemed so helpless and lost.

‘Trust me, if anyone is going to help her it’s you. She’s the luckiest person to have landed in your care, and I promise I’ll do whatever I can to support.’ He felt relief flood back into his body as he saw the smile return to her face.

‘Thank you, Alfie. Now get on your way. I’m sure you’ve got better things to do than accompany me round the ward.’

‘Oh yeah, you know me, too busy for my own good! The choice of activities in this place is just endless.’

‘Behave yourself, will you, and go! I’ve got work to do,’ she said shooing him away.

As he made his way back to his bay, he stared at the closed curtains of bed thirteen. The guilt bubbled up inside him, thick and heavy as tar, coating his chest and stomach.

‘Who are you?’ he whispered.

All he got in response was her silence.





11


Alice





Within an hour she was back in the safe confines of her bay. It had been an emotionally and physically exhausting sixty minutes, and Alice felt as broken as the day she’d woken up from her accident. Every muscle ached, but none more so than her heart. How would she ever be able to do this again, let alone every other week as the doctors had ordered?