A Clandestine Corporate Affair(14)

He wasn’t sure if he was ready to make a child the center of his life. He wouldn’t even begin to know how. “Now you’re scaring the hell out of me.”

She smiled. “I know it sounds daunting, and it is in a way. It’s tough to explain. You’ll either feel it or you won’t, I guess.”

Or maybe it was a chick thing, because he’d never heard any of his friends with kids describe it that way.

“I guess we’ll just have to wait and see,” he said.

“I guess.”

He had the distinct feeling she wanted to say something else, so he waited a beat, and when she didn’t he turned to walk out. He was one step onto the porch when she grabbed his arm.

“Nathan, wait.”

He turned back to her. If she was smart, she wouldn’t touch him, but the damage was already done. Now all he could think about was pulling her into his arms and holding her, pressing his lips to hers.

“When we were sitting there looking at Max’s baby book,” she said, “it made me realize how much he’s changed in the past nine months.”

He wasn’t sure what she was getting at. “Isn’t that what kids are supposed to do?”

“Of course. I just…I guess it made me realize how much of his life you’ve missed already. I just wanted to say…I wanted you to know that…” She struggled with the words. “I’m…sorry.”

Wow. An actual apology. And his surprise must have shown, because she swiftly added, “I still contend that everything I did was in Max’s best interest.”

“So…you’re not sorry.”

“I did it in Max’s best interest, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t a mistake.”

Maybe there was something wrong with him, but seeing her so humbled was a major turn-on. And the way she was holding his arm, standing too close, was pushing the boundaries of his control.

He leaned in slightly, just to test the waters, to see what her reaction would be. Her eyes widened a fraction and her breath caught. He was sure she would retreat, but instead her pupils dilated and her tongue darted out to wet her lip.

Holy hell.

Not exactly the reaction he’d been hoping for. Or was it? He could be realistic, or he could be smart about this. Realistically, if he leaned in and kissed her, she would kiss him back, and though it might take one night, or five nights, they would wind up back in bed together.

The smart thing to do would be to back off now while he still could, and that was exactly what he planned to do. But it wasn’t easy. “I should go.”

She nodded, looking slightly dazed. “Okay.”

He looked down at her hand and said, “Unless you’re coming with me, you’re going to have to let go.”

“Sorry.” She blinked and jerked her hand away, and by the glow of the porch light he could swear he saw her blush. Ana was not the blushing type. She was utterly confident and without shame—on the outside anyway. He couldn’t decide who was more arousing, the unflappable vixen or the vulnerable girl.

So he stepped away. “See you tomorrow.”

She nodded. “See you tomorrow.”

He started down the steps, then stopped just as she was closing the door. “Hey, Ana.”

“Yeah?”

“By the way, apology accepted.” Then he turned and walked to his car.



Ana closed the door and leaned against it. Oh my God. He had almost kissed her. He had leaned in, his eyes on her mouth…

The idea of his lips on hers again made her heart beat faster and her breath quicken. And as wrong as she knew it was, she would have let him. As if she wasn’t feeling confused and conflicted enough already.

Sitting there with Nathan, going through Max’s baby book, she got to thinking about how precious each and every minute with her son had been. The idea that she had deprived Nathan of that and, even worse deprived Max of the chance to know his daddy, made her feel selfish and thoughtless. What gave her the right? Max’s well-being? Well, suppose it hadn’t been good for him? What if she had done more harm than good? What if Max grew up with a hole in his life, in his soul?

She hated that Nathan was making her second-guess herself, that she couldn’t trust her instincts. Then there was that “apology accepted” remark. What was up with that? Did he mean it, or was he just playing some angle? Did he have ulterior motives? If she were him, she wouldn’t be so quick to let her off the hook.