Love Me (WITSEC #3)(5)

“Shi,” Logan said, breaking the silence and the tether that rooted me where I stood.

I stormed toward him. My hand flew out so quickly and I smacked him across his cheek hard enough to cause my palm to sting.

Logan could have stopped me from striking him, but he hadn’t. He had just sat there and let it happen, with guilt-filled eyes. That pissed me off more.

I shoved him. Still, he did nothing. “Damn you, Logan!” I shoved him again and slammed my fists down on his chest. I wanted him to fight back. I wanted him to give me a reason to hate him.

An arm hooked around my waist and pulled me backward, putting Logan out of my reach. The feel of the bulky body told me it was Knox holding me. I didn’t fight him to get back to my uncle. Instead, I grasped his arm around my middle, holding it in place.

“The messed-up part is I understand why you did it,” I seethed at Logan, and squeezed Knox’s forearm as if I could pull his strength into myself for what I needed to say next. His hold tightened, telling me he had me, he wouldn’t let go. “I had been drowning in my grief,” I forced out, my burning eyes fixed on my uncle. “And you left me the moment I was legally able to live on my own to get revenge on Mr. X. You said it was for my sake, but if that were true, you wouldn’t have lied to me and said Ian pleaded with you to help him. You left for you. Because it was what you needed to deal with your own grief. It pisses me off because I wish I could hold how much that hurt me against you, but I can’t.” My voice cracked and I saw pain furrow Logan’s brow. Seeing that pain ate at me—ate at my strength. “Losing them broke us, Logan. I understand what it means to grasp hold of anything to lessen that pain. It feels like you can finally take a breath when all the air is gone.” Blinking to clear my blurry eyes, I felt two tears roll down my cheeks. “I can’t fault you, but damn you! Damn you for adding to my pain. You lied to me and abandoned me when I felt like dying would be my only escape!” I roared, all the hurt he made me feel riding my voice. I moved my hand up Knox’s arm, pulling him even closer, and I pointed at Keelan and the twins. “They saved me. They did what you couldn’t do, and damn you for trying to take away what I found to help me breathe!”

I was so angry my whole body shook. Feeling it, Knox began to knead my shoulder with his fingers.

Logan looked down, glaring at the floor. “Shiloh, I…” He trailed off.

I waited for him to continue. He didn’t. Instead, he sat there as if unable to figure out what to say.

I had said what I needed to, at least. It was what I should have said to Logan the moment he’d returned, but at the time, I hadn’t known how to handle it. Maybe I was still handling it poorly. I’d never been in a situation where my only family member hurt me repeatedly but was justified because he thought he was protecting me.

Regardless, I’d said everything that had been weighing on my heart. How we moved on from this was on him. I hoped he listened. I hoped he understood. But hoping for something hadn’t always worked in my favor.

Logan didn’t respond. He just continued to stare at the floor.

I wiped my wet cheeks and walked out of Knox’s embrace over to Keelan. Gently, I cupped Keelan’s face. “I’m so sorry.”

His good arm wrapped around me. “Come here,” he said, pulling me down to sit in his lap. His hand traveled up my spine to the back of my neck and he touched his forehead to mine. “You have nothing to apologize for.”

I wanted to argue, but kept my mouth shut.

“It’s just a couple of bumps and bruises,” he played down.

“You have a concussion, Keelan.”

“It was worth it.”

I wanted to say it wasn’t. I wasn’t. It was almost like a knee-jerk reaction to say that, but I refrained.

The corner of Keelan’s mouth lifted. “That’s an interesting face you’re making. I can’t tell if you’re pissed off or you swallowed something sour.”

Colt sighed next to us. “She’s trying very hard not to disagree with you. She doesn’t think she’s worth fighting for. We had a very long discussion about it on the ride here.”

Keelan’s hand moved to my cheek, his golden-brown eyes holding mine. “Yes, baby girl, you are.” His tone was firm and unbudging, as if nothing could change his mind. “But that wasn’t what I meant.”

“I told him if he could beat me, you could stay,” Logan said. I glanced at my uncle. His shoulders were slumped a little, his gaze still glued to the floor. “I needed to know if they could protect you.” As if finding the strength to do so, Logan looked at me. “I knew I fucked up when I heard you scream for help. It was the fear in your voice and knowing I’d put it there.” The muscle in his jaw ticked and his eyes turned haunted.

“Who won?” I asked.

“Keelan,” Knox answered, with a hardened expression pointed at Logan. “You fought dirty.”

“He fought like he wanted to kill Keelan,” Creed grumbled as he also stared at my uncle with an unfriendly look.

“You think X will fight fair if he finds her?” A harshness seeped into Logan’s voice as he spoke. “My niece is all I have left in this world. I pray every night that I find him before he finds her.” He stiffly got to his feet, hugging his ribs as he did. “I needed to know at least one of you has what it takes to protect her.”