Before I Let Go (Skyland #1)(4)

“Evren,” I whispered his name, but it was no use. He couldn’t hear me. He couldn’t hear anything through his agony. I rushed toward him and fell to my knees at his side, but I was fearful to touch him. Fearful to rouse him when he looked so far gone from this world. “Evren, please.”

“No.” The word was ground out through his teeth, and a deep ache shot through my chest as I watched him. I had never seen him like this, never considered what he had been through.

“Evren.” I reached forward and shook his arm, but he jerked it out of my touch. His face grimaced as if my touch had burned him.

My magic swirled through me, and even though I had no idea what I was doing, I reached inside of me and let it fall from my fingers in a desperate plea. Help him, I silently begged my magic as the inky black smoke swarmed the tent.

It seemed to obey, to calm under my command, and the swirls of darkness found Evren and Evren alone. It brushed against his skin, not leaving a single inch untouched, and I watched as the deep crease between his brows slowly smoothed away. His hands relaxed and his breathing evened, and just when I thought that I had fully calmed him, my name fell from his lips. He shot up in his bedroll, and his hand found his dagger before I had a single moment to react. But my magic wrapped around his wrist before he could lift it in my direction.

“Princess?” He said my name with confusion coating the word, and I tried to pull my magic back into me.

But it wouldn’t come.

“I’m sorry.” I looked up to meet his dark eyes before quickly looking away. “You were having a nightmare.”

“Shit,” he cursed under his breath before he searched my gaze with panic flooding his. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“Are you okay?” I shouldn’t have cared. I shouldn’t have been forcing my hands to stay still so they wouldn’t reach out and trace every inch of his skin until I was certain he wasn’t hurt.

He didn’t deserve those things from me.

“Yes.” He nodded his head, but he didn’t seem sure. He started to lift his hand, but my magic held it in place. Not as a restraint but as if it was desperate to not let him go. “Your magic.” He moved his fingers through the smoke, and I felt the motion as if he was stroking my spine.

“I can’t control it,” I whispered the words I hated with a voice that showed how much he affected me. I didn’t want to be weak, and I desperately didn’t want to show my weakness to him.

Because I didn’t trust him to not use it against me.

“Yes, you can.” He nodded and leaned forward until his chest was completely wrapped in my magic. “You are its master, princess. Call it back into you. Make it bow to your will.”

I focused on what he was saying, but my heart was still racing and my skin felt alive from where my magic touched his skin. I couldn’t concentrate on anything other than him.

Evren reached forward, and I flinched away from his touch. It didn’t matter how affected I was by him; I didn’t want to be the stupid girl who simply allowed him to lead me to slaughter. He was my enemy now more than ever, and I needed to remember that.

“Let me help you, Adara.” He pressed his hand against my chest firmly, and I felt it ground me to my core. “Feel it here.” He pressed harder, and I took in a ragged breath. “Call it from here.”

I didn’t understand what he meant, but I tried to concentrate on that spot where his hand was touching. I focused on it and it alone, and I clamped my eyes closed as my chest rose and fell beneath his touch.

Come back to me.

I felt my magic pause as if it heard me. It hesitated as it rolled through the tent, and I called it again as I felt the weight of it bearing down on me.

Come back to me.

This time it listened.

Slowly, it seeped back toward me, and I allowed it to do so. I breathed it in, desperate to feel it back inside me.

With every inch that sank back into me, I felt more complete. It snaked its way back into my veins, and I could taste my own power as it did so.

“That’s it. Let it come to you.” His words fell over me as my magic filled me, and I slowly blinked my eyes open to look at him.

His hand was still on my chest, and his thumb slowly stroked over the base of my neck as the last of my magic disappeared inside me.

We were silent for a long moment as we simply stared at one another. There were so many thoughts running through my head, so many words I was desperate to whisper from my lips, but I would have been foolish to say any of them.

“I should go back to my bed.” My voice trembled.

“You should stay.” His dark eyes were pleading, and I hated how badly I wanted to soothe that look on his face.

“We both know that I shouldn’t,” I spoke softly as I shook my head.

“Stay.”

I looked at him like he had lost his mind. I wasn’t his to command. I didn’t answer to the man who betrayed me beyond all others, but still something inside me begged me to listen to him.

“I hate you.”

His eyes shuttered, but he simply nodded. “I know you do, but you can hate me tomorrow. For tonight, just stay.”

I pushed up off my knees as I shook my head. I avoided looking at him as I climbed to my feet because I knew I needed to put distance between us. I hated him, but my body still called to him as if it couldn’t imagine leaving his side. But before I could move away, he caught my hand in his and clung to me with a heartbreaking desperation.