Accidentally Amy(6)

Her younger cousin, Emily, beautiful and funny and right across the hall, could often be found letting herself into Izzy’s apartment, borrowing her clothes and leaving notes that said things like “I have your black shoes - will return later.”
Daphne, her other cousin, lived upstairs and was generally a quiet person aside from the occasional cosplay party she hosted for her fellow larpers. Did she sometimes let herself into Izzy’s place when she was out of food and didn’t feel like going to the store?
Yes, yes she did.
But did she replace the food she borrowed?
No, no she didn’t.
Josh was the best building-mate cousin out of the trio. He was an IT workaholic, so she rarely saw him at all aside from the occasional laundry room run-in, and he only got into her stuff when he ran out of beer and didn’t want to go to the store.
Izzy ran up the stairs and retrieved The Darkling, apologizing to Josh for the black fur deposits her cat had left on his fancy white sofa. He said “it’s cool” in a huge cloud of smoke, because her favorite cousin was also a total vape hound.
By the time she finally got inside her apartment and kicked off her shoes, she was ready for a lot of inactivity.
Because her day, in and of itself, had been a LOT.
She changed into her pajamas (yes, at 6:10pm), grabbed a Diet Coke and went into the living room, where the McDonalds bag was now soggy and grease-stained in the bottom of her purse.
She grabbed the remote and turned on the TV, needing escape as she pulled out her dinner. The Darkling walked back and forth on the back of the couch, stepping on her neck and being his usual dickish self, and she let out a huge sigh.
What was she going to do?
She unwrapped her hamburger and kind of wanted to cry. She'd finally found what seemed like the perfect job, with a company that was considered to be the best place to work in the entire freaking world, and she'd totally blown herself up. She'd somehow managed to lie to - and insult - a freaking Vice President on her very first day.
As if that weren’t enough of an aww-shit sandwich, she was so profoundly disappointed in AVP Blake’s awful character arc that she could cry. He’d started off the day like some dashing hero in a rom-com, attractive and charming and filled with promise, but then, in an instant, he’d shown himself to be a pompous, arrogant, judgmental jerk.
A jerk who would most likely be firing her the following day.
And yes, she knew the whole thing was her fault.
She shoved a fistful of fries into her mouth before grabbing her phone.
She knew it was a bad idea, but she had nothing to lose.
She clicked into Blake’s last message and texted:
Hi. I will lose your number after this, so don’t get freaked out that an employee is texting you. But I have a question.
She waited for a response, but after about two minutes, she texted:
Okay - obviously you’re ignoring me, which I get. Because AVP. Still…can I talk to you for a sec?
She waited a few more minutes.
Hello…?
She counted to ten, and then texted:
Okay, well, I’M going to talk, even if you choose to ignore me.
Izzy began what could best be described as a rapid-fire text assault of Blake’s phone, hitting send after every word. She wasn’t sure if it would be seen as adorably persistent or the final straw, but as she typed, she accepted both outcomes.
I
Am
Sorry
About
The
Misunderstanding (i.e. the liberation of Amy’s coffee even though she clearly didn’t want it after her name was called 3x and I did order the same thing and paid for it. I even left a tip for the barista, and you KNOW the real Amy did not)
I
Am
A
Very
Honest
Person
Who
Simply
Lost
Her
Head
For
A
Second
When
Panicking
About
Possibly
Being
Late
On
Her
First
Day—
Feeling like she’d made her point, Izzy ended the barrage and began typing in normal, grown-up paragraphs.
I’ve never stolen anything or lied about my identity.
*Well actually I had a fake ID my freshman year of college that said I was Connie Brockman, but it was so bad that I only used it once because when the bouncer looked at it for more than five seconds, I confessed and went home.
Right as she hit send, AGAIN, her phone started ringing, which made her scream. She looked at the display, and it was Blake. Or was it Mr. Phillips?? What was he to her?
AAAAAAAAAAHHHH.
She raised the phone to her ear and said, as calmly as possible, “Hello?”
“I seriously didn’t know someone could be that textually irritating.”
The man had the deepest, sexiest voice. Such a shame. She replied, “What, that? That’s only scratching the surface.”
“As much as I enjoy hearing my phone ping every five seconds, I feel I must inform you that I will not be responding to your messages.”
She rolled her eyes and popped another fry in her mouth. “Because you have fat thumbs and can’t keep up?”
“Because it would be unprofessional for me to be texting an employee.”
She said, “I see. What if I was texting that I was too sick to work?”
“A call to the office would be the best course of action," he replied.
“What if I was texting to tell you the office phones weren’t working?”
She heard him clear his throat and wondered what he was wearing. His deep voice sounded polite and business-like when he said, “Miss Shay, is there something I can help you with?”
“Miss Shay? Oof.” Izzy sat back on the couch and said, “Listen, I just want to say that if you’re going to fire me for the lie – which I totally regret - and for when I was kind of a jerk to you, can you please just do it now? I can’t deal with it hanging over my head.”