The Iron Butterfly (Iron Butterfly #1)(7)

“Yes, it is,” I countered. “I fell in.”

“I'd wager there’s more to it than that. So tell me what were you running away from?”

I couldn't help it. My eyes darted a look over their shoulder to check for signs of hooded robes.

Darren saw my scared look so he took a deep breath, kneeled in front of me and very gently put his rough hand on my shoulder. “Thalia, it is obvious that you are scared of something or someone. The state that we found you in spoke of more than just falling in a river. You show the signs of long term abuse. And even though you just met us, I assure you that we will do everything in our power to keep you safe.” Darren's voice spoke truth, and I felt the protective wall I had built start to crumble.

“The Septori, I was taken by the Septori,” I choked out in a barely audible voice. This time it was Darren and Joss' turn to look at me in confusion.

“They are a cult led by a horrible leader we only knew as the Raven.” My hands began to shake and I dug my fingernails painfully into my palms in an attempt to quell the hatred that rushed me. “They kidnapped, tortured and performed brutal experiments on us. I was lucky to escape with my life. Most didn’t. They are a heartless group of red robed monsters,” I spat out angrily. Feeling a stinging pain I looked down and noticed that fresh blood coated my fingernails. I had dug my nails in so hard I made my palms bleed. Feeling slightly ashamed that I had reinjured myself, I tucked my hands under my arms and looked at the ground. I hoped Joss wouldn’t notice my self-inflicted injury and want to heal me. He didn’t.

Joss sat back in shock. I don't think he was actually prepared for what I had said. “What were they trying to accomplish?” he asked.

“I really don't know and don't care. And I would prefer not to wait around until they find me.” I glanced around the camp in urgency to see what I could find that could be used as weapons. Joss and Darren were hardly prepared for an attack. “But I can tell you this. There were others with me, even Denai, and if they can capture them, there is no doubt that they could take on you two as well.” I tried to make my voice as steady and determined as possible so that they would understand the seriousness of what I was saying.

“How did you come to be with them?” Darren asked, as he filled my bowl with more soup. I watched as he only filled it a quarter of the way full. I gave him a pointed look, but he refused to budge and add anymore to my bowl.

“I can’t remember? I only remember waking up bound and gagged in a dark, dank windowless cell with two other girls. I was the only one who couldn’t remember anything about my previous life. I held out my bowl to Darren. He stared at me in shock before shaking himself and refilling my bowl. This time it was almost full. He kept reassuring me that I would be safe.

“I don’t know if we were purposely chosen, kidnapped or bartered away, but all of us down there were experiments. The two girls I originally shared the cell with disappeared within a week. Others came and went, I was the only one they couldn’t kill or break.”

“What did they do to you, with these experiments?” Joss asked.

I dug my fingernails into my palms and my chest felt like it was going to explode as my breathing came in shallow gasps. All of the control that I had carefully gathered was waning as fear took over. Darren saw my panicked face and intervened.

“Joss,” he spoke quietly, “Maybe you don’t want to know. Some things are best left unspoken.” Refusing to make eye contact, I turned my head and decided that I wasn’t going to say anymore, no matter how many times they filled my bowl up.

Joss, who had been sitting quietly up until this point, jumped up in anger, throwing his tin cup he was holding into the fire. The splash of liquid on the flames made it sputter and I jumped in surprise.

“I really wish that you were making it up,” he fumed.

I stiffened at the comment and looked at him in confusion. “I'm not. I could never make up something as awful as that.”

“No, I believe you, I just don't want to admit there are people as cruel and evil as that in our country, but I know that you are indeed speaking the truth because I have seen the evidence. Maybe you really were in Sinnendor and didn’t know it!” He began to pace back and forth, his anger evident in his posture and the clenching of his fists. But the way he did everything bespoke a natural grace.

I watched him pace as I asked myself the question I’d plagued myself with for weeks. Why I was there in the first place? I didn't understand why the Septori didn’t let me go. Of course, deep down, I knew the reason. The Raven would never let me go because I had seen too much. The only way I was leaving that prison was if I was in a wooden box.

And then I started to dwell on Cammie, and how I sent Kael back for her and he was probably dead because of me. The guilt became overwhelming and I buried my head in my knees and wrapped my arms around them to comfort myself and began to rock back and forth. It was too much, I felt as if the shock was finally wearing off and I could finally feel again. But the feelings and emotions were too much, they were consuming me. A few choked sobs escaped my lips as the rocking became faster paced. Joss and Darren glanced at each other in total helplessness.

“Don’t look at me,” Darren said to Joss. “Melani said I’m useless when it comes to understanding or comforting the female kind.”