Other Lives(9)

“Say yes. It’s simple.”

“Yes, I guess it’s simple.”

“We discussed it. We talked about it at length.”

“I know.”

“Then why are you acting like this? As though you didn’t know this would be the natural conclusion.”

“It is all very easy for you.”

“Could we spare each other the melodrama?” Nikolaos asked. “It is not as if this is some terrible bargain.”

“No, it’s not a terrible bargain. I’m sure you will also obtain some nice trinkets. A new title, some jewels. The little things one gets when he sells a woman.”

“If you want to act the part of the victim you may. I know you are happy.”

The room seemed very small and cramped. Suffocating. She exhaled.

“Of course I’m happy. You brought me here and for the first time in my life I’m not alone,” she said. “Everything is different. I want to be different. I want to pretend I’m not a monster. And it’s your fault. You’ve made me want this.”

The few paces between them seemed like an endless void and Miranda’s heart flinched in pain. She moved towards the opposite side of the room because she had to do something to prevent the pain from tearing her apart and she could think of nothing more.

“I should tell him yes then, is that what I should do?” she asked.

“Of course,” he grunted.

“I could still…why, I,” Miranda said, feeling bold. “You could take me anywhere. I’d go.”

Such a thing to say. Shameful. Flinging herself before a man.

Nikolaos’ eyes held nothing.

“No,” he said.



7



Miranda defied the winter in a gown of pale yellow. She sparkled, sitting next to her summer lord, while the others chattered. And she did not look at him. Her gaze seemed to skip him, evading his seat, although he was in plain sight.

Nikolaos drank and simmered. A scant few meters from him Darius was holding her hand, whispering something to her ear.

He thought of another party, another occasion when the marquis had asked them to lift their cups for the woman he would marry. He downed his wine. It’s sweet taste lingered in his mouth.

This was no proper, official engagement. But Darius, impulsive as always, had decided he must have a small celebration to show his choice of a bride. Later they would go through the drudgery of customary announcements and plans. Today was a feast of Darius’ ego, for he must show her off, like a man a parading a prize horse.

“We should toast to Nikolaos,” Darius said, a little drunk by now. “For finding this unique woman, the best bride there can be.”

Unique. Of course she was unique. Such a pretty deadly thing.

“Thank you, dear Nikolaos.”

Nikolaos smirked. Darius thought she was his, when Nikolaos knew she’d wanted him instead. The problem was, despite the lingering dread in his heart every time he glanced at Miranda, Nikolaos wanted her too.

***

Her maid had asked permission to toast to her engagement with some of the other servants and Miranda agreed. Her aunt would have disapproved of this decision, but Miranda didn’t care anymore.

After her maid left, she tossed a blanket over the mirror, blocking her reflection from sight.

Miranda brushed her hair, running the comb through a knot and glanced at the hidden mirror.

She shivered and extended her hand, ready to pull the covering off. She stilled herself, letting the blanket in its place, shielding herself from the reflection.

***

She woke up with a start, the nightmare still clinging to her. In the dream she had seen him fall, tumble towards a never ending abyss.

There was another knock at the door and Miranda rose, still confused from her dreams, her bare feet making no sound.

Miranda opened the door and Nikolaos was there, safe and sound. She felt herself smile.





8


She was lighting more candles. The dim glow of the room created odd shadows as she drifted, her hair unbound.

“Stop that,” he ordered, uncomfortable with all her nervous pacing. “I can see fine.”

“Well then?” she asked, going back to his side. “What is it?”

“You have some wine?”

“No,” she said, folding her arms. “What is it?”

He found his voice, and it was calm. It all came out easily.

“In three nights’ time I will be leaving this place. You must be ready to come with me then.”

Miranda stared at him in disbelief and shook her head. “Are you mad?”

“No.”

“Everything is as you wanted. I am marrying him, and now you want me to leave?”

“It is complicated. I’ve done something wrong Miranda, something very wrong.”

“What?” she whispered.

His eyes darted towards the shadows, away from her. He couldn’t make himself look at her.

“Darius, his wife…I did know his wife, I knew her well. We were in love … only he wanted her. There was nothing she could do; her family agreed to the marriage and they were wed.

“She did not love him. She loved me, and I loved her back. She feared Darius. She told me he could be a terrible man. Darius and I fought together during the campaign at Lavart. He was cruel in battle, but isn’t that natural when facing your enemy?