Midnight Jewel (The Glittering Court #2)(20)

“Tamsin.” I spoke very cautiously, very lightly. My job was to mediate, as always. “That’s not fair. What’s wrong with her wanting to do well? It’s what we all want. And she told you, nerves always got the best of her—”

“That’s the biggest lie of all. She’s been fearless from the first day, facing down Clara and traipsing out in the night for holly. The jokes, the carefree air . . . it’s all been a cover.” Tamsin shifted her glare from me back to Adelaide. “Nerves aren’t your problem. I refuse to be sucked into your web of lies, and I will never have anything to do with you again.”

I attempted to tell her how extreme that was, but no pleas could sway her. She left in a rage, slamming the door so hard, the floor shook. Adelaide fell apart after that and collapsed to her bed, all of her earlier defiance vanishing. I hurried over and wrapped her in my arms, even though I was on the verge of falling apart myself.

“It’s okay,” I kept saying. “I’ll fix this. She’ll come around.”




But Tamsin didn’t.

At first, I thought she just needed time. We had a week until we sailed to Adoria. Surely, their anger would cool. It did, I suppose, in a way. But it was the kind of cold, seething anger that was almost as deadly as the hot and furious kind. The fact that we all had to sleep in the same room together only worsened it. Tamsin stayed away as much as possible, going to bed late in the hopes that Adelaide would be asleep.

Adelaide, for her part, attempted to make peace a few times. Tamsin wouldn’t have it. I tried as well, certain that even stubborn Tamsin would cave. After all, how many times had I seen them and their extreme personalities quarrel? Always, always, they had eventually made up.

But as more time passed, I began to face the awful, horrible realization that this might be unfixable. Everything that had happened to me before—loss, pain, abandonment—was happening again. My parents. Lonzo. Sirminica. The hope I’d had for Adoria grew dark. The ground felt like it was crumbling beneath me. And I was going to fall with it.

On the night before we sailed, I made one last effort, cornering Tamsin in the study. I vowed to stay calm and strong. I can fix this.

“Tamsin, please. Hear her out. You’ve never given her a chance. We sail tomorrow. You two have to forgive each other.”

Cold fire flashed in the depths of Tamsin’s eyes. “There’s no forgiving what she’s done. You don’t know how badly she’s hurt me.”

“And neither of you understand how badly you’re hurting me! You two are ripping me in half! I’ve seen what happens when neither side backs down in a fight. No one wins, Tamsin, and I’m so tired of it. I’m tired of pain. I’m tired of loss. I can’t do it anymore—and I can’t lose you guys.”

Tamsin’s face went very still, and after several long moments, she clasped my hands in hers. “Mira, you will never lose me. No matter what else happens or where we go in this world, I will always be there for you.” The next words came with a bit of difficulty. “And whatever’s happened between Adelaide and me . . . well. I know she’ll always be there for you too.”

“It won’t be the same.”

“I’m sorry, Mira. I wish you weren’t pulled into this. You’re the last person I want to see hurt.”

“Then let this go. Please.” I had one last, desperate argument. I can fix this. “You guys can’t go two months, cooped up on the same ship, with this between you.”

“You’re right,” she said, releasing my hands. “We can’t.”





CHAPTER 6


WE LEFT FROM CULVER, A PORT CITY ON OSFRID’S WEST coast, on a cold and blustery day. Gray water lapped at the docks in front of us, and seagulls screeched and whirled in the sky above. It was so like the city where I’d landed on the other side of the country that I had a brief sense of déjà vu. I’d traveled with my brother that day. This morning, I stood with the two friends who felt like sisters—and who still hadn’t made peace with each other.

“Do they really expect us to spend two months in the company of those sailors?” demanded Tamsin, wrinkling her nose as several walked by with loads of cargo. She spoke pointedly to me, even though Adelaide stood right by us.

I studied the passing sailors for several moments before answering. Some of the day laborers that Mistress Masterson frequently hired had been brought on to help, but my Flatlander acquaintance didn’t seem to be among them. I turned back to Tamsin and tried to keep my tone light. “Are you saying you didn’t run into sailors when you were out delivering laundry?”

“Well, of course I did. But that was then. This is now. I’m at a very different station. I’d hardly associate with the likes of them these days.”

“Don’t worry,” I said. “It’s not like you’ll have to share a room with them. And someone’s got to run the ship.”

“Especially since I don’t have any sort of nautical knowledge,” remarked Adelaide, bitterly recalling Jasper’s retort when she’d questioned him about winter storms.

Tamsin nearly responded and then remembered it was Adelaide who’d spoken. Tamsin turned around, putting her back to both of us, and watched as the men continued loading the cargo. Adelaide sighed.