Betray the Bear (Bear Valley Shifters #4)(3)

He didn’t move, just let her take him in.

“Did Brody do that to you?” It was an unnecessary question. Of course he did.

Nathan nodded and sat straighter, pushed a hamburger basket in front of her and offered her an empty smile. “Eat.”

“I’m not hungry.”

His face tinged red and he looked away, jaw working as he clenched his teeth. He couldn’t control her anymore though. He wasn’t her alpha.

“Do you like your new life as much as you thought you would?” he asked.

Crossing her arms, she shook her head and leaned back into the plastic bench seat. Small talk with him was pointless. “Why did you ask for me, Nathan? What do you want from me?”

“Everything.” Emotion jutted across the icy blue in his eyes, and he leaned forward. “I want every f*cking thing from you, Joanna.” His throat moved as he swallowed and seemed to try and gain control. He shook his head as if he were trying to clear it. “I loved you.”

She huffed the ghost of a laugh. “You don’t know what love is. You hurt me.”

“No, I tried to take care of you. I tried to make you my mate.”

“You hit me and then you chased me through the woods, Nathan. You were going to kill me.”

His breath froze, and he tilted his head like he was unsure if she were joking. “What are you talking about?”

“I’m not playing whatever game you’re getting at.”

“When?” he asked, voice cracking. He cleared his throat and took a deep breath. “When did I hit you?”

Unbelievable. She stared at him with a half-smile that said he was a complete douche-boob for trying this crap with her. “When you saw me escaping with Hannah. You were going to end me, Nathan. I saw it in your eyes. There was nothing there. No soul, no feeling, no recognition that what you were doing was wrong. You couldn’t have me, so no one could.”

“I don’t…I don’t remember that part.”

“Fuck you.”

“I’m not saying I didn’t do it. Maybe I did, I don’t know. I just don’t remember. I remember…” His eyes looked a million miles away and his voice dipped to a ragged whisper. “I remember him cutting you, claiming you, and I couldn’t get to you in time.”

“It’s what I wanted.”

“Are you still with him?”

“Of course I am. Brody is my mate. For life, Nathan! It’s what I told you I wanted for two years and Brody gave that to me.”

“Come home, Joanna. I need you.” His voice sounded gruff and broken, and the tiniest bit of his hardened exterior was showing tarnish and cracks.

She pulled her shirt to the side, revealing Brody’s mark on her. “I am home.”

“I can’t stop a war if you stay. The only way I keep alpha is if I avenge your loss and annihilate Bear Valley.”

“You don’t have to do that,” she pleaded. “Just let me go.”

“It’s bigger than that now,” he yelled, slamming his fist on the table. His nostrils flared as he heaved breathe. He shot a warning glance over her shoulder and shook his head but when she turned around, it didn’t look like Riker or Blaine had moved. In a calmer tone, Nathan said, “We lost on our own territory to your betrayal. I was marred on my own land and had to bury nine of my men that day because of what you brought to us.”

“No. That was because of what you brought. You took Hannah, mistreated the mate of one of the most battle savvy alphas in the world. You have no one to blame but yourself.”

“Please. You can still save me,” he said, and the brush of his fingertips touched her knee under the table.

She jerked back. “Don’t you touch me. No one can save you but you. I’m not your salvation or your cure. I was never yours and never will be.”

“Tell me what to do.” His eyes were wide and desperate and a little piece of her felt sorry for him. His bear was bloated with power from running a clan without a council to keep him in check. Nathan was at war for his sanity now.

“Leave the Long Claws. Find a mate. A real one, not the three you screw to try and continue your line. Find someone to love you and love them back. Spend time away from the clan until your bear settles. Run from being alpha, Nathan. Maybe this is what is supposed to happen. Your people are putting pressure on you to retaliate? You’ll kill so many, and then you’ll be doomed. How will you ever hope to be saved after a war like this?”

A slow, wicked smile crooked his lips and the emotion drained from his eyes. “Run from alpha?” His voice sounded strange, inhuman. Power, like thunder rumbling through her body, filled the space in between them. “I’m born for alpha, mate.”

“I’m not your mate.”

“Eat your food!” he roared so loud she jumped.

He wouldn’t do this to her. She’d been cowed under him for years, but not anymore. She was a Bear Valley shifter now and stronger than this. “You aren’t my alpha. Riker is, and thank God for that. He’s ten times the leader you could ever hope to be.”

“Come home with me now, Joanna, or so help me, I’ll drown those mountains in Bear Valley blood. You can save everyone. Just come home.”

She could end it all. There would be no war, no retaliation, no loss of life. There could be peace if only she could shut her heart down and live a cursed existence under Nathan’s rule. She’d known freedom though, and once uncaged, she couldn’t be confined again. “I’m sorry.” She wasn’t apologizing to him, but to all the people she would hurt with her selfish decision.