If You're Out There(7)



I squint up as light filters through leaves behind her. A crinkle forms between her eyebrows. It seems I’m being evaluated. “You know, you can sit with us,” she says, nodding toward the hill’s summit, where Skye is no doubt already peeling off layers to lie out in the sun. I’m sure Lacey’s friends will be fine as teammates, but in our brief interactions, I’ve struggled to relate on any sort of meaningful level.

Skye DeMarco is a far cry from stimulating. I’m pretty sure the girl could talk about Kardashians all day. And then there’s Ying Li, who pretends she doesn’t know she’s extremely pretty and uses words like “heinous” to describe herself. In this little game, I believe you’re supposed to say, “What? No way. I’m heinous!” And then you and Ying compliment each other for the rest of your lives.

“It must suck with the rest of last year’s team gone,” says Lacey, scrunching her nose like a cute, concerned bunny. “And I heard Priya moved?” I tense at the mention of her, but Lacey doesn’t seem to notice. Actually, her eyes are sort of gleaming now, the way they do when she’s prowling for an inside scoop. Sometime around middle school, Lacey became the go-to girl for salacious intel. I do occasionally wonder where her allegiances would lie if the day’s big story was ever about me. “So, are Priya and her boyfriend doing the whole long-distance thing? I’ve seen pictures. College guy, right? He’s cute. Like, dork-sexy.”

I laugh. “I guess you could say that. And yeah, I think that’s the plan.”

“I have to say, it’s weird to see one of you without the other around here.”

“Definitely weird.” I sigh, miraculously impassive as I glance up the hill. “Anyway, thanks. That’s really nice of you. But I’ve got some reading to do.”

“Suit yourself,” says Lacey with a shrug. “I’ll see you in English?”

When she’s gone, I rest against the tree and close my eyes, grateful for the return to silence. A heavenly breeze cuts through the thick, midwestern air and I feel my body start to settle. It’s the warm months that remind you that Chicago is nothing more than a paved-over prairie—the flatland held up like an offering to the scorching sun. The hill by our school is the only one I know of. I guess that’s why everyone likes it so much. I pull out a paper-topped tin of leftover mac ’n’ peas from the restaurant and take a bite.

The truth is, it’s pure relief to be alone. Who says solitude is a bad thing? Maybe it’s a path toward clarity. Maybe I’m just . . . Thoreau-ing it for a while.

My phone dings, and I perk up like an idiot.

From: Anushka Jha <[email protected]>

To: Yasmine Baker <[email protected]>, Ben Grissom <[email protected]>, Priya Patel <[email protected]>, Alexandra Martini <[email protected]>, Caroline Sax <[email protected]> . . .

Date: Thu, Sep 6, 12:11 pm

Subject: Let the fundraising BEGIN!

Hey team!

We at Girls Reaching Equality Through Academics are thrilled to kick off the countdown to our inaugural Teen Volunteer Summer Term!

So without further ado . . . Let’s talk INDIA! Nine months from now may sound far away, but remember, we have to raise enough funds to cover flights, housing, food, supplies, and all additional expenses for six whole weeks! To supplement your individual savings and crowdsourcing, we’ll be holding monthly meet-ups here in the office to plan events (think bake sales, auctions, NON-DEGRADING car washes, etc.). And for all you non–New Yorkers, we’re happy to be a resource from afar. To stay on task, let’s get those fundraising proposals in by the end of the month, shall we?

Also, not to be completely embarrassing, but Yasmine and I want to send big props to our mini CEO in the making, Priya Patel. Summer Term was her brainchild, and this year she’ll be taking what we hope will be one of many steps in carrying out her beautiful mother’s legacy alongside her stepfather, our prince and financial wizard, Ben Grissom. (Yasmine is leaning over my shoulder telling me to stop before I get overly emotional, so I will leave it at that. But we are so proud of you, kiddo!)

Welcome to the GRETA Fund family, ladies. You pumped? GET PUMPED!

XO, Anushka & Yasmine

I lean back against the rough bark. India was all Priya and I talked about last spring. But now . . . I shovel in a few bites. I should write them back and tell them I’m not going.

Then again.

The thought makes me stop chewing. Priya would have to face me if I went.

I set the tin aside. No. What if I scared her away? That would be going too far. Not that I think she’d give up so easily.

Sita brought Priya to India only once, when she was little. Years later, Priya still clung to the faded memory—walking with her older cousins along Juhu beach, snacking on chaat and trying to take it all in. There was a time when Priya was excited to show me India herself. She said I wouldn’t believe the sweltering summers, the crowds, the colors. I know she was itching to go back.

Anyway, this trip is Priya’s baby. She thought it up. Pitched it. Fought for it. Hell, I was there—literally, right beside her on the couch as she made her case via Skype at the monthly GRETA board meeting.

I remember thinking my best friend was kind of a badass that day.

Ben had been particularly skeptical, but I knew she’d wear him down. “Is this even what your mom would have wanted?” he asked from his own computer. We were maybe ten feet apart from him and Priya gave him a WTF? look from across the living room.

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