Naked Love(9)

Tommy? I shoot my dad a questioning look, but he’s too busy helping the Deedy get settled onto his lap again. Tommy is a five-year-old boy who wets himself the first day of school or maybe a clothing designer, but not a minister.

Dear Heavenly Father,

If I stop being a hypocrite and vow to never date anyone more than five years older or younger than myself, will you make this woman go away? If I promise to respect the boundaries of my generation, will you remind Tommy that he vowed to serve you and not his dwindling sex drive?

He’s running late with his midlife crisis. That’s the only logical explanation. Sorry, Dad, you missed that train. Now you have to show maturity or they’ll revoke your AARP membership, including your roadside assistance.

Deedy … it’s just disturbing on so many levels. She has my California blond hair, only shorter with an inverted-bob sweeping her chin. Blue eyes resemble mine, just not as light. In this small, aching pit in my stomach, I think of how she looks like my mom might have at thirty-eight had she lived that long.

The Deedy is too pretty, too young, and too …. I don’t know … all over my dad like a horny girl who just figured out how to rub herself off.

Gah! It hits me. They’re going to have sex. I cringe. Can he even get it up? My experience with older men is they do best with a pill. Eww … for the first time in my life, my mind has decided to make the comparison between the older men I’ve dated and my father.

It’s in my head! Make it stop. Will he do his thing missionary style? They have to, right? After all, he’s a minister and she’s been on mission trips. Will he go down on her? GAH! No. No! NO! Make it stop!

“Avery, are you feeling okay? You have a mortified look on your face.” Dad tears his unholy gaze from Deedy long enough to acknowledge I’m still here.

This trip was an epic mistake. I should have had my car checked at a garage in Illinois and headed straight back to Los Angeles. My days of being the apple of my father’s eye are over. He’s robbing the cradle, and Anthony likes chocolate. What is happening to the world?

“Yeah, just thinking about something that’s a little disturbing. I’m fine.”

“How was your walk?” He nuzzles Deedy’s neck.

“I stopped by a cafe, but it didn’t go so well. Swarley made me spill my green drink all over.”

“Oh!” Deedy’s back snaps to attention, eyes wide. “You stopped at Sage Leaf Cafe?”

“Yeah, we have one in L.A. I don’t go there often, just when I’m trying to impress someone in the hippie crowd.”

“It’s an all vegan restaurant.” She glances back at my dad. “The food is the best. Jake Matthews, the owner, is the nicest guy, and he’s—”

My brow furrows. “I don’t know if I’d agree with that assessment.”

“Oh, Avery, he’s incredible.” She winks. “And single.”

He was a dick to me. Of course he’s single.

“Then you should date him.” I shoot them a toothy grin.

Dad frowns. “Avery …”

“I’m joking.” I stand, taking a sip of the lemonade.

Deedy bites back her smile. I give her a little credit for not being offended. The look she shoots me says she knows my game. I know hers too—make the adult daughter look like a selfish, spoiled brat. Make the old man choose between the needy child and the best blowjob he’s ever had.

Dammit! Stupid mind.

My phone chimes. I dig it out of my Hermes bag. “Avery Montgomery.”

“This is Trace from Wellman’s garage. We’ve inspected your vehicle and found two major problems and several minor ones.”

“Okay, how much will it cost to get it road-ready again?”

“Fifty-five hundred.”

“What the fu—” I grimace as my dad gives me a disapproving look. “Fudge stripes are you talking about? I don’t think the whole vehicle is worth that much.”

“I’m afraid I have to agree with you there. It has over 200,000 miles on it, and from what we can see, it doesn’t look like you’ve had regular maintenance on it.”

After setting my glass on the railing, I rub my temples, taking a deep breath. “Thanks. Bye.”

“Wait, ma’am, what do you want to do?”

“Nothing. Just keep it.”

“Wait—”

I press end. “My Honda is dead. I need a car.”

“Avery, you can borrow mine.” Deedy gives me a sympathy frown that matches the one my dad’s wearing.

I shake my head. “No. I don’t need to borrow a car. I need a new one, but I don’t have a job.” I hold up my injured hand. “Or a way to make money.”

Or a sugar daddy.

“Since I can’t afford one at the moment, I’m going to have to just take a rental car back to L.A. and figure things out from there.”

“Avery, I don’t want you driving all the way back there by yourself. I’m not at all happy that you drove to Illinois without someone with you. It’s not safe for you to travel alone.”

I nod toward my nemesis. “I have Swarley.”

“An old dog. Not good enough. Maybe we should drive you home.”

“No!”

Even Swarley jumps to attention at my adamant refusal to drive all the way to Los Angeles with my father and the Deedy.