Dukes Are Forever (London Steampunk: The Blue Blood Conspiracy #5)(4)

"You never know," Lena argued. "Sometimes I see the duke looking at you when he thinks you're not aware of his gaze. You might be surprised."

"Does his expression look a little like this?" Adele mimicked her husband's haughty, somewhat displeased expression, and then added a good dose of disgust for good measure.

Somehow her eyes ended up crossed.

Lena burst into laughter. "You almost had it until the end. Malloryn doesn't dislike you."

"You're right," she mocked. "That would require emotions and as far as I know, my husband doesn't suffer from them. How frightfully plebeian."

"He looks at you as though he doesn't quite know what to do with you."

That's because he doesn't.

I don't even know what to do with me.

Adele's gaze strayed to Alex as her smile faded. She toyed with the ring on her finger—her wedding ring.

Alex's hair had recently all fallen out, and Lena didn't bother with a bonnet inside, but something in Adele's chest gave a small squeeze at the sight of him. The baby adored his mother unconditionally.

What would it be like to be the focus of someone's world like that? To be loved, no matter what you had done or what type of person you were? She had little doubt about her own nature. People found her cynical and somewhat cold, but it was all she knew, the only way she had of surviving as a young woman.

"But then, I suppose we're not to speak of the expression on your face when Malloryn enters a room?" Lena added.

Adele's fingers froze on her ring. "What sort of expression?"

Lena patted Alex's back as she swayed to and fro, her eyes dark with sympathy. "Your spine goes stiff, your shoulders straighten, and you look like you're girding yourself for war. 'Scale this tower at your own risk. Nobody can touch me in here.'"

"That's because I'd rather lock myself away like Rapunzel than suffer my husband's presence."

Lena's voice softened. "Is that entirely true? I'm your dearest friend, Adele. I know you. I can see how much he vexes you."

"That's precisely the point: Why would I want his attention when it irritates me so much?"

"Do you know what I think? I think you want him to vex you. I think you want him to look your way and press his attentions."

"I think I would rather eat a cockroach."

"Do you know the most surprising aspect of being made verwulfen?"

The abrupt switch in conversation made Adele suspicious. "What?"

Lena's eyes narrowed as she leaned forward. "I can actually smell your nervousness when you lie. You're lying to me right now. And to yourself."

Maybe it was true.

And who else did she have to discuss this with?

The memories were eating away at her.

"There was an incident between us," she suddenly blurted. "At the Ivory Tower four months ago, when the queen was nearly assassinated."

"What sort of incident?"

"Someone had shot Malloryn—not that I blame them. Entirely. He has that effect. But he was bleeding so much. And I.... It's not the first time I've given blood to a blue blood. I just thought.... I couldn't just leave him there."

"You gave blood to an injured blue blood?" Lena's eyes widened. "Adele!"

"I know." She slammed the ring back on her finger. "It's the first thing we're warned against as debutantes. An injured blue blood is at the mercy of his craving. They're no longer entirely in control of themselves."

"He didn't hurt you, did he?" Bronze flashed in Lena's eyes as her own passion roused. To be verwulfen meant being subject to your emotions, and if she thought Malloryn had harmed Adele, it was quite possible she'd go after him.

Adele looked down into her lap, her cheeks heating. "No. It wasn't... like that."

At all.

She could still feel the press of Malloryn's lips to her throat. And the caress of his tongue. His hand on her breast, thumb rasping over her hardened nipple as he ground his hips between her thighs—

"It wasn't just the bloodlust that roused," she blurted.

Silence fell.

Lena's pretty rosebud mouth had dropped open. "Did he—?"

"No! He came back to his senses in time."

"But it was clearly a passionate interlude."

Adele squeezed her eyes shut. "He's never touched me like that before. He told me he never would. And I never wanted him to before that moment. But now, I cannot quite seem to forget it."

"Oh, dear."

"And then he disappeared for nearly a month, with a letter telling me not to worry. Nothing to bother myself over. But when he returned... it was as though nothing had ever happened between us. He avoids me. I avoid him." She curled her fingers into fists. "But I wish to God he'd never touched me. Because now I know he is not merely made of ice. I was content with our agreement before then. I would have remained content. But now I know. And it is torture."

"Aha."

"Aha, what?"

"That's why I catch him looking at you so often with that indecipherable look on his face." Lena eased onto the sofa before her, placing her hand over the top of Adele's. "So what are you going to do about it?"