Mended (Lucian & Lia #3)(7)
A startling thought occurs to me and I pull back enough to look up at Lucian. “Do you think he had anything to do with my mother turning herself in? Her sudden attack of conscience has been completely baffling to me.”
Lucian trails a finger down my cheek, and I see his answer before he speaks. “Yes, I’m quite certain he made that happen.”
Feeling my throat tighten as if gripped by unseen hands, I manage to choke out, “And my stepfather? Was that just a coincidence?”
“Baby, I honestly don’t know. I do know he was determined that you never be hurt again. As to how that translates, only Lee has that answer, and I doubt very seriously he plans to share either of those circumstances with you or me.”
I settle back in his arms, thinking of what he’s just told me. How do I feel about possibly having a father who may also be some type of vigilante? I believe Rose calls it jail-yard justice. Of course, I’m thinking that her version of that with Jake is a bit different from Lee’s. I have no idea how I’m supposed to handle the possibility that my birth father has not only shown up after twenty-four years, but he’s taken care of the people who terrorized me. It’s overwhelming to imagine there might be a grain of truth in something that sounds so far-fetched. How else can I explain what’s happened, though? It’s almost as if God never heard my cries or prayers, but now He’s noticed, and He’s righting all the wrongs heaped upon me. Yes, it sounds fanciful and deluded even, but how can I dispute this as truth when my mother sits in a jail cell, having to answer for her crimes, and the evil heart in my stepfather’s body no longer beats with life?
“It’s a lot to take in,” I admit, feeling overwhelmed.
“It is for me as well,” he agrees. “If you get to a point where you want to meet with Lee, then I will be happy to accompany you. On the other hand, if you don’t want to see him again, I will support that as well. I don’t think it’s anything you have to decide today. Just give yourself time to think about it. I won’t let him pressure you. It’s your decision whether or not he ever has a place in your life. He has to accept that.”
“I’m still angry with you, Luc,” I find myself saying. The fact I’m snuggled in his arms makes a mockery out of that statement, but my feelings of hurt and betrayal are still very raw. It’s ironic that he’s the one to wound me but also the only one able to soothe me.
“I know you are, baby. You were right when you said that my secrets are tearing us apart. I will tell you whatever you want to know, but can I ask for one concession from you first?” I agree warily, hoping he doesn’t ask for more time. That’s the one thing I’m not prepared to grant. Turning beseeching eyes to me, he asks quietly, “Can we go home to talk?” As if thinking I’m going to reject his request, he quickly adds, “I’ve never told anyone what happened that last day with Cassie, and it’s…hard to fathom talking about something so private in someone else’s living room. I promise that if you want to leave me afterward, I’ll bring you back here. Just…please?”
“All right,” I acquiesce, without protest. Truthfully, I’d rather be at his apartment while we talk. It’s not that I believe Rose is standing at her door listening—although she probably is. I feel more comfortable in the apartment I’ve called home for weeks now. Those walls sheltered me while I clawed my way back to sanity—and Lucian—after my assault. The one place in my life that has felt safe to me.
As if afraid that I’ll change my mind, Lucian stands, still holding me in his arms. “Is there anything that you need to take with you?” He looks distracted and I honestly believe he isn’t even aware he’s still holding me. I cherish his instinctive need to care for me. To be nurtured after so many years of neglect is something I will never take for granted.
“My bags are still at the door. We can get them on the way out.” I wiggle and he tightens his hold. “You can put me down now. I’m perfectly able to walk.”
My heart stutters as he gives me a look filled with anguish. “I’m afraid you’ll run from me again.”
“Luc,” I begin gently, “I’ve agreed to go with you. I’m not going to run. I told you where I was going earlier so it’s not as if you didn’t know. No matter how angry I get, I wouldn’t do that to you.”
He drops a kiss on my lips before saying, “I wish I could believe that.”
“Luc…” He doesn’t give me a chance to finish my sentence. He slowly lowers me to my feet before taking my hand.
“Ready, baby?” His tone is lighter, but he is far from relaxed. The tension emanating from him is palpable. My leaving earlier has had a profound effect on him. He’s shaken and clearly afraid of my reaction when he shares his past with me. He fears I’ll leave him, but I can’t imagine anything he’ll say that will make that happen. I’ve asked for his disclosure—I’ve given him no alternative. If he wants me, then he has to come clean. It’s not that I believe he shouldn’t have had a past before we met. He admits to casual sexual relationships and I’m sure there were many. He’s a rich, drop-dead handsome man who would have never lacked for willing women. Do I like to think of him with someone else? Hell no, what woman would? I don’t even want to know those types of details.