Hearts Divided (Cedar Cove #5.5)(9)

“You asked me to keep the weekends free,” Ruth murmured, resting her head against his shoulder.

“Did you?”

She sighed. “Not tomorrow.”

“Do you have a date with some other guy?”

She leaned back in order to study his face, trying to discern whether he was serious. “You’re joking, right?” she murmured hesitantly.

He shrugged. “Yes and no. You have no obligation to me and vice versa.”

“Are you seeing someone else?”

“No.” His response was immediate.

“I’m not, either,” she told him. She wanted to ask how he could even think that she would be. “I promised my grandmother I’d visit tomorrow.”

“Your grandmother?” he repeated.

“She invited you, too.”

He arched his brows.

“In fact, she insisted I bring you.”

“So you’ve mentioned me to your family.”

She’d told him in her letters that she hadn’t. “Just her—she’s special. I’m sure you’ll enjoy meeting her.”

“I’m sure I will, too.”

“You’ll come, won’t you?”

Paul turned Ruth into his arms and stared down at her. “I don’t think I could stay away.”

And then he kissed her. Ruth had fantasized about this moment for months. She’d wondered what it would be like when Paul kissed her, but nothing she’d conjured up equaled this reality. Never in all her twenty-five years had she experienced anything close to the sensation she felt when Paul’s mouth descended on hers. Stars fell from the sky. She saw it happen even with her eyes tightly closed. She heard triumphant music nearby; it seemed to surround her. But once she opened her eyes, all the stars seemed to be exactly where they’d been before. And the music came from somebody’s car radio.

Paul wore a stunned look.

“That was…very nice,” Ruth managed after a moment.

Paul nodded in agreement, then cleared his throat. “Very.”

“Should I admit I was afraid of what would happen when we met?” she asked.

“Afraid why? Of what?”

“I didn’t know what to expect.”

“Me, neither.” He slid his hand down her spine and moved a step away from her. “I’d built up this meeting in my mind.”

“I did, too,” she whispered.

“I was so afraid you could never live up to my image of you,” Paul told her. “I figured we could meet and I’d get you out of my system. I’d buy you dinner, thank you for your letters and e-mails—and that would be the end of it. No woman could possibly be everything I’d envisioned you to be. But you are, Ruth, you are.”

Although the wind and rain were chilly, his words were enough to warm her from head to foot.

“I didn’t believe you could be what I’d imagined, either, and I was right,” Ruth said.

“You were?” He seemed crestfallen.

She nodded. “Paul, you’re even more wonderful than I’d realized.” At his relieved expression, she said, “I underestimated how strong my feelings for you are. Look at me, I’m shaking.” She held out her hand as evidence of how badly she was trembling after his kiss.

He shook his head. “I’ve been in life-and-death situations and I didn’t flinch. Now, one evening with you and my stomach’s full of butterflies.”

“That’s lack of sleep.”

“No,” he said, and took her by the shoulders. “That was what your kiss did to me.” His eyes glittered as he stared down at her.

“What should we do?” she asked uncertainly.

“You’re the one with reservations about falling for a guy in the service.”

Her early letters had often referred to her feelings about exactly that. Ruth lowered her gaze. “The fundamental problem hasn’t changed,” she said. “But you’ll eventually get out, won’t you?”

He hesitated, and his dark eyes—which had been so warm seconds before—seemed to be closing her out. “Eventually I’ll leave the marines, but you should know it won’t be anytime in the near future. I’m in for the long haul, and if you want to continue this relationship, the sooner you accept that, the better.”

Ruth didn’t want their evening to end on a negative note. When she’d answered his letter that first time, she’d known he was a military man and it hadn’t stopped her. She’d gone into this with her eyes wide open. “I don’t have to decide right away, do I?”

“No,” he admitted. “But—”

“Good,” she said, cutting him off. She couldn’t allow their differences to come between them so quickly. She sensed that Paul, too, wanted to push all that aside. When she slid her arms around his waist and hugged him, he hugged her back. “You’re exhausted. Let’s meet in the morning. I’ll take you over to visit my grandmother and we can talk some more then.”

Ruth rested her head against his shoulder again and Paul kissed her hair. “You’re making this difficult,” he said.

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“Me, too,” he whispered.

Ruth realized they’d need to confront the issue soon. She could also see that settling it wasn’t going to be as easy as she’d hoped.