Cranberry Point (Cedar Cove #4)(11)
Grace felt she could deal with Dan's death. At the time, he'd already been gone a year and she'd learned to live on her own and even found a certain solace in it. During those first dark, lonely months following his disappearance, she'd become acquainted with Cliff Harding, a horse rancher who lived in Olalla. Cliff had wanted a relationship, but he'd been patient, willing to wait until it felt right to her. Prior to her relationship with Cliff, the last time Grace had been out on a date was in high school. The one and only man in her life had been her husband. After she'd buried Dan, she'd finally agreed to see Cliff—but then she'd foundered and made a drastic mistake. Grace had gotten involved with another man via the Internet.
Chatting with Will Jefferson, her best friend's older brother, had started out innocently enough. From as early as she could remember, Grace had had a crush on Will. That had never gone anywhere, and after high school Will had left for the East Coast, where he attended college and then stayed. He'd written her a letter after Dan's death, and the correspondence had continued by e-mail. He'd flattered her ego, become her friend, and before she realized what was happening, she'd fallen in love with him, despite the fact that he was married.
She was embarrassed to admit how foolish she'd been. Grace knew from the beginning that Will had a wife. At first she'd pretended they were merely friends and that his marital status didn't matter. But it did. When Will assured her he was divorcing his wife, she'd wanted to believe him, wanted to be part of his life badly enough to swallow his lies. Thankfully she'd learned the truth in time to save her dignity, but at a painful price.
As a result of her liaison with Will, she'd lost Cliff Harding's love, friendship and respect. He no longer wanted anything to do with her and after months of neglect, months of misleading him—no, lying to him—she couldn't blame Cliff at all. He'd said it would be better if they went their separate ways. Twice she'd gone to him. Twice she'd asked for another chance to prove herself. Twice he'd said no.
Grace had wanted to make amends and to recover what she'd lost with Cliff. She now recognized her "love" for Will as the infatuation it was, fueled by the clandestine nature of the relationship. And she recognized the genuineness of her feelings for Cliff.
She was sure Cliff still loved her, too. She saw it, felt it, but he sadly shook his head. Cliff's wife had cheated on him for years and he refused to become trapped in another relationship where trust was compromised.
As far as Cliff was concerned, it was over between them.
With both Will and Cliff out of her life, Grace was lonely. Terribly lonely. Other than her work, some valued friends and her two daughters and grandchildren, she had few outside interests.
Dressed in her robe and slippers, she moved slowly into the kitchen, Buttercup, her golden retriever, at her heels. The dog ventured otrtside through the doggy door, and Grace picked up the local newspaper from the front porch and placed it on the kitchen table. While Buttercup did her business, Grace prepared a pot of coffee.
Her sense of loneliness was accentuated even more now that Olivia had remarried. Grace was happy for her dearest friend and yet she was afraid that Olivia wouldn't have as much time for her anymore. She was ashamed of her Internet lapse with Olivia's brother, and felt somewhat distanced from Olivia as a result.
"Well, Buttercup," Grace murmured as the dog came back inside. "Shall we see what's on the agenda for today?" She poured herself a cup of coffee while Buttercup lapped water from her bowl. A fund-raising committee meeting for the animal shelter was scheduled for that evening. One positive thing Grace had done for herself after the breakups with both Will and Cliff was to become a volunteer at the Cedar Cove Animal Shelter.
Two Saturdays a month she interviewed potential pet owners, walked and fed the animals and did whatever else she could to be useful. Janet Webb, who was in charge of fund-raising, had asked Grace to be on her committee and she'd gladly accepted.
Buttercup finished her drink and sat down at Grace's feet while Grace sipped her coffee. As she mulled over her day, she scanned the headlines, then got dressed—khaki cotton trousers, a white tailored shirt, her favorite black blazer— and drove to the library.
Grace's afternoon passed quickly. Following work, rather than race home before her meeting, Grace strolled along the waterfront. The marina was lovely, especially this time of year. In a couple of months, the Thursday-night Concerts on the Cove would start again. Cliff had often joined her for the concerts. They'd buy dinner and sit on the grass.... Grace shook her head in an effort to dispel her memories of Cliff. He'd insisted it was over and she had no choice but to accept his decision.
Before she left for the meeting, Grace went to the Pot Belly Deli where she bought a sandwich, eating it at a small table by herself. Then she drove out to the shelter.
Janet Webb and the other committee members had already arrived. "I'm so glad you're on our committee," Janet said and introduced Grace to Mary Sanchez and Margaret White, both long-standing volunteers. Janet and Margaret were about the same age as Grace, but Mary was in her mid-thirties.
"We're looking for something that'll bring the entire community together," Janet explained as Grace took a seat at the table in the conference room. "For the last few years we've done the usual bake sales and car washes."
"We had a dog wash that one year," Margaret reminded her.