Tragic Bonds (The Bonds That Tie #5)(6)

The sound that tears out of my chest is inhuman, a wrenching and terrible thing, and the tears are still coming down my cheeks without me taking much notice of them. I try to focus on the soul inside myself and coax him into staying put until I can heal him.

I don’t know if he can hear me, but I try anyway.

Just a few minutes longer, and I'll get you back. We can figure this all out. Just stay with me. I know you didn't want to, but just stay with me, and we'll figure this out.

He doesn't answer me, of course. I don't know if he can. I don't even know if he can hear me or if I'm just talking to myself right now, but I try.

I try because I don't want him to wait until next time to figure out how we can love each other. I want to figure it out in this lifetime. I want to know everything. I want to see everything and accept whatever it is that I need to accept. I want to learn how someone like Nox Draven can be loved and accepted, and then I want to spend the rest of my life doing it.

I want to learn whatever I need to, and I want to figure it out together. He might be the most arrogant, infuriating, manipulative, vicious man I have ever met, but I also know without a doubt that he's mine. Whatever battle it is that he’s fighting within himself, my place is at his side to fight it with him. Someday, we will get to a place where he’ll accept that and he’ll accept me.

Maybe I'll even get an apology out of him for the things that he did while dealing with everything he was going through.

“Holy fuck,” I hear Kieran hiss as he and Gabe approach us, and I glance up to see him staring at Nox’s empty eyes, still staring at his brother sightlessly.

All of North’s shadow creatures are still standing around us as if they’re waiting for my Bonded to come back from the ledge he’s currently on, the grief overwhelming him entirely. Every inch of my being aches to go to him.

But I can’t.

Gryphon stands up and walks over to North. I can hear him muttering to him, trying to break him out of the trance that he's found himself in, but North doesn’t answer him.

I stay on my knees with Nox. I couldn't move away from him even if I tried.

“I need you to take me to Felix,” I say to Kieran, and he glances down at me, shellshocked.

He's covered in mud and blood from where he has been moving through the camps and transporting people out. There's a weariness in him, a kind of defeated nature that comes with fighting a losing battle.

“Fallows… I don't think there's anything that Felix can do for him now,” he says in the most gentle tone, one that makes my chin wobble all over again even though the tears still haven't stopped streaming down my face.

“Do it for me. Please,” I say, my voice cracking. He swallows roughly, heartbreak in his eyes for me as he nods.

He grabs Gabe as he walks over to me, holding an arm out for Gryphon and North to grab as he plants a hand on Nox’s chest.

I grab his wrist, the closest I've gotten to actually touching Nox at this point, and I stare down into his sightless eyes as we pop back out of existence.

I hold onto Nox’s soul with an unbreakable death grip.





Chapter Two





Oli



Kieran is smart enough to transport us directly to the medical center, bypassing our usual spot at North's offices completely. When we arrive, we find Felix sitting at his desk filling out paperwork and Sage in the corner working on some schoolwork that I didn't even know she was still taking seriously as the world comes down around us.

The moment that we appear, Felix shoots to his feet in shock, lurching towards Sage as if to shield her. When he realizes who has appeared in the room, he visibly relaxes, only for as long as it takes him to see Nox.

“Holy fuck.”

North stumbles away from Kieran, hitting the wall and sliding down it. I hear the motion and see some of it from the corner of my eye, but I force my eyes to stay on Nox.

Gabe attempts to coax me away from him, but even after I let Kieran's wrist go, I stay in the same position, kneeling at Nox’s side.

This is going to be the difficult part.

My voice is nothing more than a rasp. “Felix… I need you to heal him.”

Felix looks around at the rest of my Bonded as though he’s looking for some injuries, but when he finds them all perfectly intact, he glances back down to me and says, “Who, Oli? Who do I need to heal for you?”

Sage stands up from her own chair, walking around the table as she approaches me, tears brimming in her eyes at the sight of me. I also get the feeling that she knows what impossible task I’m about to ask of her Bonded, and wants to show her unwavering support.

Deep breath. “I need you to heal Nox.”

The room goes eerily quiet, the type of silence that comes from everyone not knowing what the fuck to say back to the crazy lady.

I understand it. If there were any way to explain it to them without getting their hopes up, I would tell them, but I am acutely aware of the breakdown that North is having right now. I also think I might just crack under the pressure if North finds out there's a chance his brother could be saved, and I need my wits about me.

I don't want to lose Nox, and I don’t want to compound the grief of his brother by giving him a glimpse of hope only to disappoint us all by failing at this.

I can't fail him any more than I can look at him right now.