Satin Princess(6)

I nod and leave the claustrophobic little room. One glance to my left and I see Chris standing by the staircase, staring off into the distance.

I walk over to him, but he barely acknowledges my presence. “Are you mad at me?” I ask.

He turns to me. “How can you even think that?”

“I know I’ve been irresponsible—”

He shuts me up by taking my hand and pulling me right into his arms. He holds me so tight that it forces tears to my eyes.

“I’m going to miss you so much,” he says. I can hear how choked up he is.

“Oh, Chris…”

“It’s okay,” he says. “I know you have to go. It’s the right decision.”

Hearing him say that makes me feel both better and worse. I cling to him, wondering when I’ll be able to see him again.

“I’m going to England,” I tell him when he finally lets me go.

“England?”

I nod. “With Freya. She wanted to make a trip back home, and this way, I won’t be totally alone. At least, not in the beginning.”

“Well, then… I’m glad.”

“Even though you don’t like her much?”

He sighs and gives me an embarrassed smile. “I was unfair about Freya. And I’ll admit, my dislike for her came from a childish place. I didn’t really want to share you. Not when we’d just renewed our friendship.”

“I never saw it that way—”

“I know you didn’t. Because you’re a mature and loving person,” he says with a forced laugh. “I was just being stupid. She seems to really care about you and that’s all that matters.”

“She’s been through something similar. She can relate to what I’m going through.”

He just nods. “Like I said, I’m glad you won’t be alone.”

I take his hand and give it a squeeze. “You’re still my best friend, you know? You always will be.”

“That’s what you say now.”

“It’s what I’ll say always,” I say firmly. “You mean the world to me, Chris. And I hate that I won’t see you when I want to.”

“I know. Me, too.”

“I’ll keep in touch though,” I promise him. “I’ll find a way.”

“Just be safe. And keep that baby safe, too.”

I grin sheepishly. “You never even asked if I wanted to keep it.”

“Didn’t have to. I knew you would.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” he says with a sad smile. “You’ve got too big of a heart to ever get rid of something that belongs to you. And this baby belongs to you, Jess. Remember that, okay?”

I know what he’s telling me: my baby may have a murderer for a father, but it’s got me as a mother first and foremost. That trumps everything else.

“You always know what to say. Even the things I don’t know I’m worried about yet.”

“I’m your best friend, remember?”

“I remember,” I say. “I’ll always remember.”





3





ANTON





“Where’s Jessa?”

Lev gives me a puzzled look. “You lost her?”

“She was supposed to be resting in her room,” I say impatiently. “Dr. Spegal said she should get as much rest as possible.”

“Is that your version of an early push present?”

“Am I supposed to know what the fuck that is?”

Lev rolls his eyes. “You know, the gift you give the mother of your child for pushing the kid out? My sister has a couple of kids and she got a push present for each of them. A diamond bracelet, a new purse—shit like that.”

“If she thinks she’s getting shit like that from me, she’s delusional.”

Lev gives me a smirk. “You realize that Jessa is no Bratva princess, right?” he says. “She’s a normal girl who might expect to have normal experiences. Especially now that she’s pregnant.”

I wave a dismissive hand. “She’ll adjust.”

“Really?” Lev asks. His eyebrows are doing that annoying thing they do when he thinks he knows better. “Because I doubt she’s ever going to adjust to watching you murder people.”

“That was the last time.”

“Anton, brother, you and I both know it’s not the last time,” he sighs. “This is our life. Deals, meetings, betrayals, and murder. It’s a never ending cycle. You need to make sure she’s prepared for it.”

When I found out Jessa was pregnant, everything felt flawless, perfect. But now, fissures are appearing. I’m trying my damndest to hold it all together.

Just then, one of the maids passes through. I stop her. “Margarit, have you seen Jessa anywhere?”

“No, sir, I haven’t seen Ms. Jessa.”

“Go ask the rest of the staff,” I order. “Let me know when she’s found.”

She gives me a deferential nod of her head and backs out of the room, leaving without turning her back on me. It’s a habit the staff has developed over the years.

Lev notices it and rolls his eyes. “You’re a don. Not royalty.”