This Time Around (Maybe #2)(8)
“Was in the neighbourhood. Just thought I’d drop by and see if you needed anything,” he says, smiling faintly.
“How about a divorce?” I say sweetly, so sweet that I’m going to need a filling. I hear a gasp from behind me, and palm my face knowing that Isis heard that little comment.
Ryan smiles. It’s the smile that could make women worldwide swoon, and from what I’ve heard, they have. It seems while I exiled myself in South Africa to lick my wounds, Ryan was busy getting into the panties of any woman he could find. The thought makes me want to curl up in a ball and cry. It hurts. It hurts so f*cking bad. Now, instead of letting me move on with my life, he does things like this. Like dropping by, talking with my mum. Hitting Scott, who is nothing more than a friend to me. He’s trying to insert himself back into my life, and while I feel the pull towards him more than ever, I can’t let myself be vulnerable around him again. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice… Ryan and I are over. It seems he is going to still be in my life, but this time around, I’m going to make sure I don’t lose myself in him along the way. I used to breathe Ryan. I gave him every inch of me, and in the end, he broke my heart. I won’t let him do it a second time, husband or not.
“Nice place,” he says, ignoring my comment. I sit down on the royal blue couch, gesturing for him to do the same.
“Is this going to become a regular thing?” I ask with a scowl. I don’t want him to feel like he is welcome to drop by anytime he feels like it. I’m trying to rebuild my life back here in Perth and I don’t need him messing with my head.
He grins, not phased one bit at the look I’m throwing his way. “Sure it is. A husband likes to spend time with his lovely wife.” He pauses, studying me for a moment. “I’ve noticed you don’t even wear your wedding ring anymore.”
“We are separated Ryan. Why would I?” I say softly, trying to soften the blow of my harsh words. “Besides neither do you,” I add, having noticed it before. I swear the man suffers from a bad case of double standards.
“Right,” he says, dragging out the word. He glances down at my hand, as if the ring will magically pop back on my finger. “I guess we’ll be seeing a lot of each other.”
I purse my lips, unable to hide my agitation. “What happens if you come over and I have someone over?”
The instant the words leave my mouth, Ryan’s smile drops and the atmosphere in the room changes, becoming thicker and almost stifling.
“The same thing that happened last time I saw you with a man, I guess,” he says flippantly, but I don’t miss the underlying threat in his voice. He is unbelievable, he really is. After everything that happened between us, he has no right to act like this. He makes my blood boil.
“I guess I’ll just have to find someone who is stronger than you,” I reply, trying to keep my face passive.
“Yeah, good luck with that,” he replies, the cockiness in his tone igniting me off further. I know for a fact Ryan is a brutal fighter. He hardly ever fights, but when he does…
“Are you here just to piss me off?” I ask, staring straight into his eyes. His hypnotic blue eyes.
“No,” he says softly, the heat in his voice dissipating. “I just wanted to see you, is all.”
The way he says it, his voice sounding small, makes me feel like the worst person in the world. Yes, I’m trying to save myself, but I don’t want Ryan to hurt either.
“Okay. So how’s life,” I ask him, trying to be friendly. I can do this. I can sit across from this man and act as if he didn’t rip my heart out and hand it to me, right?
His lip twitches as I use small talk as my version of an olive branch. “Life is good. How does it feel to be back in Perth?”
“Good actually,” I admit. I’d missed my mother, and the reason I actually returned was that she was getting older now, her health wasn’t so good. I wanted to be with her, close to her, in case she needed me for anything. Stubborn woman that she is, she won’t admit it when she needs help.
“How was South Africa?” he asks, looking genuinely interested. South Africa is like a second home to me. I was born in Capetown, and have visited every year or so since I was a baby. I spent time with my family, especially my cousins, and did a lot of volunteer work to both help out and to keep myself busy. I also worked at my Auntie’s clothing store to make some extra money. I spent the year trying my best not to think about Ryan, but no matter the distance, he wasn’t far from my thoughts. Which just plain pissed me off. I always said I wasn’t going to be one of those girls. Pining away over a man who frankly didn’t deserve me. Once trust is broken, there is always a small part of you that won’t forget, won’t forgive, no matter what you say or how much you try. It really is one of those things that you work hard to get, and can lose in a blink of a second. I wish I was stronger, but I’m not. If I was, I wouldn’t be feeling butterflies in my stomach by just being in his presence.
“Good. I enjoyed the change of scenery,” I tell him, relaxing back into the plush couch.
“Are you going back any time soon?” he asks, a little hesitantly. My eyes zoom in on his mouth. Oh, that mouth. It always knew exactly what it was doing. Ryan clears his throat, and my eyes move up to meet his. He smirks at me knowingly, clearly feeling more confident after my show of weakness.